Lost

I lost myself along the way.

Looking for me, I would sometimes say,

That I needed to do more things for me,

and that if I did, I would suddenly be

The person I knew I was sure to become.

It worked for most people, a few, maybe some.

And I lost myself, I don't know where I went.

Each hour and minute I searched, rashly spent,

Like sand in my pocket, a pocket with holes.

My mind troubled and trapped like a raft on the shoals.

Tired, I stopped searching for me,

And sat for a moment, and looked up to see

My eyes in the face of a tow-headed boy.

They danced in delight at some hand-crafted toy.

He smiled my smile, and then raced away

And my heart leapt as it saw me this way.

I followed his form as he drifted from sight

and then appeared a slight fairy, or sprite,

and she twirled and danced, and her hair was mine,

fanning out as she spun, gold in the sunshine,

She gently kissed me on my face,

and flew off with ethereal beauty and grace.

And as she vanished, I felt in the gap

of my arm a small push, and then in my lap

Was a waif of a tot, with pink rosebud lips,

She spoke not a real word, but mumbled a bit.

Her eyes were searching, and wide, like mine

And her hair wild, and airy, wispy and fine.

She pointed her finger at something nearby,

and I looked where she pointed, and let out a cry,
For there, on the ground, was a babe struggling forth,
on her hands and her knees, both covered with earth,
She looked up at me and her face lit with glee,

and she laughed and rocked and struggled towards me.

I lifted her up and held her to my breast,

and she, in turn, laid her head there to rest.

I looked down at her face as she closed her eyes,

and realized with no small amount of surprise,

that her fringes of lashes were dark and long,

Just like mine. Then she sang a broken song,

As if trying to imitate the songs that I sang

and at that moment, my heart felt a pang.

While searching for myself, I forgot to see,

that in my children were the best parts of me.

I found myself, all woven in them, by us three:
My God, my companion, and finally me.