The Sound of No Hands Clapping

So, I ran out of lined paper.

That's why I didn't post for almost a whole week (*GASP*).

And then I got sick. Thanks to Jeremy's wretched insistence that he kiss me. I mean, what, are we married or something?? Sheesh...I remember rolling over in the night and snuggling with Jeremy's pillow only to withdraw in horror as I recalled Jeremy used it to muffle his soul-racking coughs. I could feel the germs sliding off his pillow onto my face, and slinking their way up my nose and down my throat... *gag*

And I've had family in town, and have been throwing myself outdoors so that I can re-accustom my eyes to light (I was getting worried I might turn out like one of those cave fish that evolved to not have eyes anymore...I wonder if my eyes would move to the left side of my face if I lay on my right side long enough..?) and let my kids wear themselves out on the trampoline and with the obligatory cousin fighting-ness.

And then I got tired of the whole blog thing because I would obsess and check to see how many comments I would get after I posted, and then I would check the stats to see who visited, and then I would be all, "Hey, so-and-so visited...how come they didn't comment??? Wasn't I FUNNY ENOUGH????"

Imagine, if you will, a crowded hall. You are on stage, probably sitting on some sort of wooden stool. You are performing your little heart out, and then, you finish with a bang, and you sit with arms spread wide in "Ta-Da" fashion, and you know what happens?

Nothing.

Everybody just stares.

No cheers.

No boos.

Not even a random rotten vegetable is half-heartedly tossed in your direction.

You just get a bunch of glossy-eyed stares. No blinking even. Maybe somebody picks their nose, but that's it.

That's what it feels like when nobody comments (Now, I am not saying nobody like NOBODY, but I mean, come on...I commented twice on my last blog. That's just sad. And then I kept checking to see if people responded to my comments. That's even sadder.).

So, I got tired of obsessing. Usually, in the morning, I hit my blog first and then go to Facebook, and then check my email, then the news...I totally just started skipping my blog (and my email and the news) in favor of stalking people on Facebook and then cooking imaginary food and chopping down fake trees. Yeah.

I forget sometimes that I really just like to read and reread what I write. It's like Dad, I suppose, with his love of hearing himself speak. He and I are tickled by our own wittiness, and by golly, there is nothing wrong with that.

So, I am going to try really hard just to enjoy myself here on my blog, and forget that people sometimes stop and stare at the freak show that goes on.

P.S. Rotten avocados are gross, no matter how much guacamole seasoning you put on them.