Saturday, April 2, 2011

Fantasy Land: It's Free!







I grew up in love with David Bowie.




Well...not David Bowie...more with Jareth, from "Labyrinth"...well...yeah, I was in love with David Bowie, too.




I'm not sure why Mom and Dad didn't try and stop the juvenile googlies I had for a man 5 times my age. Probably for the same reason I never got in trouble for eating all those children's Tylenols in Mom's first aid kit, e.g. they just didn't know. Lucky for me, I listened to the little voice in my head that said eating a whole package of Tylenol was probably a good stopping point, and I shouldn't ever do it again. I substituted this vice with taking all the bandaids out of said first aid kit and opening them in the dark of the closet so I could see the magical sparks that would happen as I pulled the bandaid covers off. Good times...




Anyway, I grew up thinking that controlling, condescending, semi-cruel, arrogant, yet slightly pathetic men were what I should go for. And go for them I did.




It was sad.




Mostly because they didn't have any interest in me. I guess I wasn't snotty enough, or defiant enough. I was too easy a prey for such a man (like I was a legless Kiwi--the animal, not the fruit--that was just rolling around on the ground. No...that's not an exciting kill. They wanted the elusive and colorful emu, and let's just face it...I'm not emu material). They would do something brutish and I would sigh in adoration.


I don't know why I was so stupid. I seriously thought that if a man was "manly" i.e. a total jerk, he must be "strong" and "dependable."




Yeah.




Don't know where I came up with that conclusion. I mean, I think I honestly felt that if I could just change their ways, we would springboard off a rainbow and land in a marshmallowy cloud of mutual respect, love and bliss.




Usually what would happen would be they would lead me on for their own mysterious (read "jerky") purposes, and I would become crushed when they started dating someone else (or in some cases, lead me on, and then I would find out later that they HAD girlfriends, but they went to a different college in another town, and when I mentioned, bitterly, that they were just using me as a girlfriend substitute, they would say, "yeah, you don't mind do you?" I would grumble a little and forgive them. I seriously don't know why Mom and Dad let me outside. Ever.)




I was in Fantasy Land. But, slowly, and surely, I was disabused of the I'm-In-Love-With-A-Heartless-Orc-Booger mentality.




Around this time, lucky for me, Jeremy landed in my life, and since I couldn't resist his Super Hero Chin, I went for the sweet, nice man.




No one can resist the Super Hero Chin...




Can YOU? I didn't think so...

6 comments:

Katscratchme said...

I can resist the super hero chin.. just barely. Mostly because it's attached to your husband.
As for David Bowie.. yes, yes, yes.... I need to watch the Labyrinth again.

Doodle On Yoo said...

Who isn't in love with the Goblin King?!
And your cartoon made me laugh for a ridiculous amount of time.
I think Jeremy has the super hero look down. ;)

Rasman Toes said...

Superhero chin. Hahahaaaa.
Really though, do bandaids SPARK?? I must know.

shydandelion said...

Yes...bandaids DO spark in the dark! :D

Rebecca said...

that is crazy! I didn't know about bandaids - make sure my bandaid freaks don't learn about this.

Every daughter in my home as an incredible fascination with David Bowie in his Goblin King tights! They think he is yummy!

We have gone through 3 copies of Labrynth.

Rasman Toes said...

Well there go my bandaids....

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