As graceful as a...

This is me:

So, I attended my first belly dancing class.

It reminded me of high school a little, as I walked in.

Groups here.

Groups there.

And me.

By myself.

Feeling awkward and...awkward.

Luckily for me, the instructor was on the ball, and everyone lined up (with me safely in the back), and we began our class.

I was amazed at how easy it was! Of course, tapping your foot and lifting a hip isn't too challenging I suppose...

It wasn't until Kalista, our instructor, started doing something OTHER than foot tapping and hip popping that the room started to shrink and I felt like everyone was staring at the cow in the back row (me) who was desperately trying to dance around her udder, and was mooing in anxiety.

But, I felt I should embrace my uncoordinatedness (don't think that's a word).

"Has anyone never done this?"

"OOO! ME ME ME!" I shouted, waving my arm vigorously so everyone could see. (If you think I am kidding, just ask Chris, my belly-buddy. I actually did it several times.).

As the night progressed, I thought, "Gee, if I am going to perform this dance in front of people in March, it's a good thing I am in the back row..."

It was a few minutes after that that Kalista explained the choreography...and as it turns out, front turns to back and back to front, side to side, whatever, and at some point I will be exposed for the fraud I am...in front of a crowd.

Perhaps I will block it out, like the time I was on stage with choir (before a large crowd), and I was saying my lines, but the director was waving his arms and gesticulating and I got distracted staring at him and was wondering what I was doing wrong, and I forgot what I was supposed to say and apparently I laughed and then sat down. I have no recollection of this. Jeremy was there, and told me what happened afterwards.

All I could say was, "I WHAT??!!"

As I was lying in bed last night, my brain kept trying to do the dance correctly. It wouldn't stop! Hopefully this means my body will memorize everything and wow everyone next week. Of course, it's possible that nobody even noticed my failed attempts at graceful dancing yesterday, but that in no way appeals to my egocentric tendencies.

P.S. Perhaps I can use belly dancing as a threat: "Don't make me come over there and belly dance!" "NO! PLEASE!"

Since my children have inherited my, uh, distorted spacial perception, I could create a whole generation that uses belly dancing as punishment. I should probably feel worse about my kids running into walls and door nobs...but hey, I was the same way, and I turned out okay.