Saturday, March 14, 2009

Self-control

I have no self-control.
As we were eating out for the 8th time this week, Jeremy and I were discussing our crumbling budget.
"So, how are we going to work this out?" Jeremy said, as he shoveled fried potatoes into his mouth.
I slowly removed the forkful of banana creme pie out of my mouth, and said, somewhat stickily,
"What do you mean?"
"You know, our budget."
I waited. Savored the pie... *GULP*
"I dunno." Ah...pie...
"Okay, next topic..."
It is the same thing with the heater.
Every day when Jeremy comes home from work, he opens the door, and the snow on the porch melts.
"Sheesh!" Jeremy gasps, trying to breathe the hot air. "Did you turn up the heater again?"
"What??!" I protest. "I was cold!"
He quickly turns down the thermostat to 52 degrees, and we all have to take off our shorts and put on some pants.
We do this every day. Except on weekends, when I keep Jeremy distracted so he doesn't notice how hot it is inside. I was really good at wearing layers for about a month, but I hate long sleeve anything, so I decided it was best just to change my environment instead of my clothes.
I was at Mom's house today, and there, in front of me, staring at me with glossy, speckled eyes, was a bowl of jelly beans. I compulsively ate all of them, making myself sick in the process. I didn't even like them. They were just there, and they had sugar in them!
Blah...
I KNOW I will be accountable some day for my lack of restraint. I will probably be set free in a field of See's California Brittle and die a horrible, and completely deserved, death. Ah well...I suppose there are worse ways to die.

9 comments:

Tara Barnett said...

I'll take death by peanut brittle any day!

Katscratchme said...

Hey, spend a winter in a house with only gas powered wall heaters (aka firebrands) and a speed demon toddler. You'll be so terrified of permanently scarring your child that you'll be like us.. a few space heaters, toasty clothes and blankets galore.

shydandelion said...

Peanut brittle...

Jen said...

You're not alone in this department. . . I nearly suffered death by almond roca a few years ago . . . the only thing that stopped me from eating all the jelly beans at mom's house was my overwhelming desire to win the biggest loser. That, and you ate them all . . .

Zaphod said...

What happened to all of the jelly beans? And the Girl Scout cookies? And the cashews? And the mixed nuts? And my secret stash of salt water taffy? And my not-quite-so-secret stash of kipper snack?

Zaphod said...

Not to mention the macadamian nut clusters!!!!! No I did not mention macadamian nut clusters!!! No! No! No!

shydandelion said...

hmmm...macadamian clusters...I will be over soon...

Katscratchme said...

Call it a hunch, but I don't think anyone will be sneaking your kipper snacks.... ew.

shydandelion said...

Especially since they are LEMON PEPPER kipper snacks. Gag me...

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