Stop, Thief!
Jeremy's nice, expensive, London Fog trench coat was taken...From a coat rack...at CHURCH. SHAME ON YOU, WHOM EVER YOU ARE! Before I get carried away, I have to make the statement that I really, truly believe that someone took it by accident (Not ON accident...I have mended my ways...Rather snotty about it too.)
Still...stealing a jacket from a church seems rather pitiful and sorry to me. It's as if you are painting a giant bulls eye on the top of your head while standing on a hill on a stormy day. You are just asking for celestial retribution.
So, I printed up some nice signs for Jeremy to put up at the church, just in case the party who st....m i s t a k e n l y palmed the coat realizes he has the wrong coat. I mean, it is pretty obvious. Jeremy took the fuzzy lining out of it forever ago, and has been hanging in the closet, so the thief, I mean, Innocent-Taker-of-Other-People's-Jackets should have notices two things by now: 1) that the jacket has a zipper that goes around the entire inside of the coat, and 2) there is a pair of gloves in the pocket. Nice ones, too... We got them on sale at Wilson Leather a few years back, and despite the fact they there were a little too big for Jeremy, he insisted on getting them because, DANG IT! he deserved an ill-fitting pair of discount leather gloves, complete with fuzzy lining. I seem to recall Jeremy had me try them on right before he bought them so I could "see" how wonderful they were.
We are hoping the coat will return...We have the one left behind (Jeremy's depressed spirits caused him to besmirch the poor thing. It wasn't the coat's fault!) and Jeremy is holding it hostage in the clerk's office. So, cross your fingers!
Comments
I don't think because someone there is stealing stuff. It is because we don't want a 95 year old man opening the wrong locker trying to put on someone elses clothes.