Ode to My Diet

ODE TO MY DIET

I always count my calories

I count them every day

and if I didn't count them

I would have to say:
Calories DON'T MATTER!
But, sadly, yes they do.

I have to count my calories.

I'll count them 'till I'm blue.

Calories in my food

are like enemies closing in

To consume as many as I do

is, in fact, a sin.

So I count my little calories

I count them. You ask why?

I count and count and count and count

I count until I cry?
I count them 'cause I'm OCD

I count them 'cause I'm stressed

I count them 'cause I'm bigger than

my pants when I get dressed.

I count them 'cause it's the only way

that I can carefully keep track

of the stuff I place in my mouth

from a crinkley, shiney sack.

I count them out of wonder,

I see the numbers whizzing by

I count them 'cause it's so fun

to count numbers that are high.

Calories, oh Calories,

I love you, but I don't...

I would love to stop counting you,

but we both know I won't.