Thursday, May 8, 2014

I'm a good-looking spider, no?

It was late.

I was snuggled in bed, Jeremy's body contouring to mine as he peacefully slept.

I shifted my weight carefully as not to wake him, the shadows on my bed moving eerily, jerking in the low light.

I looked over at the shadow-casting corner of my pillow and the normally innocent and unobtrusive feather-stuffed article looked sinister.

I shivered a little, and turned back to my book.

A few moments later I turned a page, and the pillow shadow darted out onto my bed.

I screamed and shot out of the bed, throwing blankets and pillows into the air, exposing the spider that was hot-trotting it across my Egyptian cotton.

Jeremy was on all fours, bleary-eyed and in shock.

"WHAT?!?!? WHAT IS IT????"

"SPIDER!" I screamed. I waited a breath for him to magically come up with something to kill the frantically moving arachnid, and then realized I would have to be my own Knight in Shining armor, unless Jeremy was toting some kind of weapon in his pajama pockets.

I smashed down repeatedly on the spider with my paperback, guttural screams escaping from my mouth.

And it was dead.

Jeremy slunk down into the bed, and was out.

I laid down, and tried to get comfortable. My hand slid down into the cool space between the mattress and the headboard.

Then I thought better of it.

I'm not going to call them "spiders" anymore. I'm going to call them "nope."


Katscratchme said...

Bleh.. we'll call the one on your pillow the Edward Cullen Nope.. or the Sparkly Vampire Nope.. because.. it was watching you... in bed... stalker.

The Mrs. said...

Bleh, you had to post the pictures, and I had to read this blog mere moments before going to my own bed, with my own feather pillow. Jibblies.

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