Don't take me so literally...
Something magical happens when a child turns eight.
They can do most chores.
I dutifully had Joshua start unloading the dishwasher when he did, and he emphatically told me how much he hated it day two into his new life.
He endured this mostly because I told him that if he didn't want to do dishes, he was certainly welcome to scrub the pee-pee toilet, to which he replied with a polite, "EW! NO!" neverminding the fact that he was the one who made it the pee-pee toilet.
Anyway, I decided that Josh needed to be well-rounded, and I started having him rotate the laundry, and we've had some ups and downs (like when he decided four dryer sheets were necessary for three dish towels), but he's mostly really awesome at laundry. I uped the ante a few months later and had him do his own laundry, and frankly I have no idea if he even does his laundry, but he always seems to have clean underwear when he takes showers, so...
Anyway, after having a bazigillion kids, I simply can't do all the chore anymore, and once again, I had to shake things up with Josh's responsibilities.
So, I made him clean the pee-pee bathroom.
Nowadays, it's not just Josh that makes it the pee-pee bathroom, but also Eva and Lily, whose arms don't quite reach back far enough to wipe their pink bottoms sufficiently (Lily just ends up wiping her leg, but gives more of an effort when I scrutinize her hygiene habits (or lack thereof).).
So, I don't like cleaning it. I have mastered wiping my bum (either from practice, or the growth-spurt my arms went through when I was a kid, the world may never know which), and I don't like sharing little people gooies, thank you very much, and I certainly don't enjoy having my face that close to little people piddle as is required when cleaning around the toilet for the inevitable accidents.
But, Josh put on a brave face, and I gave him a quick run down of what he needed to do.
"Okay, first you need to spray the counter and the mirror with the Windex, and then wipe them down 'til all the liquid is gone, and the mirror is clean. Make sure you get all the toothpaste out of the sink. Spray the toilet with Windex, and then wipe up all the liquid (and the gooies) and then clean out the bowl."
I then squirt in some toilet bowl cleaner and continued.
"Okay, after you are done with cleaning the outside of the toilet, you need to clean the inside of the toilet."
I set down the toilet bowl scrubbie.
Joshua turned a mortified face to me.
"You want me to clean INSIDE the toilet??"
"Yes, but you don't have to touch anything," I replied, motioning to the toilet scrubbie.
He looked sideways at the toilet and said incredulously, "Alright....."
I then ran off to do some cleaning of my own, and came to check back on Josh 10 minutes later.
He had cleaned to counter, mirror, and toilet, and was walking out of the bathroom with a disgusted look on his face, his hand held out in front of him like he thought they were diseased.
"Did you clean the inside of the toilet, Josh?" I asked, squinting at the toilet from a distance.
"Yes," he replied, clearly repulsed, and threw the towel he had been using into the sink. He then began scrubbing his hands with soap and water.
I looked down at the toilet scrubby and it hadn't been moved from where I had set it.
On the other side of the bathroom.
Uh oh...
I turned to Josh in alarm.
"Josh!" I exclaimed. "Did you clean the toilet with your hands???"
He looked up at me innocently from where he was still scrubbing his hands at the kitchen sink, and replied, "Well, with the towel, yeah."
I laughed.
"Josh..."
"What?"
"You were supposed to use the scrubby."
I waved the toilet scrubby for emphasis.
He looked at it confusedly for a moment, and then it dawned on him.
He then gave me a sheepish, "oh..."
Silly Josh.
Silly me for not explaining well enough.
But, kudos to Josh for pulling up his sleeves and doing what needed to be done, and unwittingly going the extra mile.
That's probably why he didn't mind cleaning the bathroom when I asked him again.
Since, you know, he didn't have to actually put his hands in the toilet again.
They can do most chores.
I dutifully had Joshua start unloading the dishwasher when he did, and he emphatically told me how much he hated it day two into his new life.
He endured this mostly because I told him that if he didn't want to do dishes, he was certainly welcome to scrub the pee-pee toilet, to which he replied with a polite, "EW! NO!" neverminding the fact that he was the one who made it the pee-pee toilet.
Anyway, I decided that Josh needed to be well-rounded, and I started having him rotate the laundry, and we've had some ups and downs (like when he decided four dryer sheets were necessary for three dish towels), but he's mostly really awesome at laundry. I uped the ante a few months later and had him do his own laundry, and frankly I have no idea if he even does his laundry, but he always seems to have clean underwear when he takes showers, so...
Anyway, after having a bazigillion kids, I simply can't do all the chore anymore, and once again, I had to shake things up with Josh's responsibilities.
So, I made him clean the pee-pee bathroom.
Nowadays, it's not just Josh that makes it the pee-pee bathroom, but also Eva and Lily, whose arms don't quite reach back far enough to wipe their pink bottoms sufficiently (Lily just ends up wiping her leg, but gives more of an effort when I scrutinize her hygiene habits (or lack thereof).).
So, I don't like cleaning it. I have mastered wiping my bum (either from practice, or the growth-spurt my arms went through when I was a kid, the world may never know which), and I don't like sharing little people gooies, thank you very much, and I certainly don't enjoy having my face that close to little people piddle as is required when cleaning around the toilet for the inevitable accidents.
But, Josh put on a brave face, and I gave him a quick run down of what he needed to do.
"Okay, first you need to spray the counter and the mirror with the Windex, and then wipe them down 'til all the liquid is gone, and the mirror is clean. Make sure you get all the toothpaste out of the sink. Spray the toilet with Windex, and then wipe up all the liquid (and the gooies) and then clean out the bowl."
I then squirt in some toilet bowl cleaner and continued.
"Okay, after you are done with cleaning the outside of the toilet, you need to clean the inside of the toilet."
I set down the toilet bowl scrubbie.
Joshua turned a mortified face to me.
"You want me to clean INSIDE the toilet??"
"Yes, but you don't have to touch anything," I replied, motioning to the toilet scrubbie.
He looked sideways at the toilet and said incredulously, "Alright....."
I then ran off to do some cleaning of my own, and came to check back on Josh 10 minutes later.
He had cleaned to counter, mirror, and toilet, and was walking out of the bathroom with a disgusted look on his face, his hand held out in front of him like he thought they were diseased.
"Did you clean the inside of the toilet, Josh?" I asked, squinting at the toilet from a distance.
"Yes," he replied, clearly repulsed, and threw the towel he had been using into the sink. He then began scrubbing his hands with soap and water.
I looked down at the toilet scrubby and it hadn't been moved from where I had set it.
On the other side of the bathroom.
Uh oh...
I turned to Josh in alarm.
"Josh!" I exclaimed. "Did you clean the toilet with your hands???"
He looked up at me innocently from where he was still scrubbing his hands at the kitchen sink, and replied, "Well, with the towel, yeah."
I laughed.
"Josh..."
"What?"
"You were supposed to use the scrubby."
I waved the toilet scrubby for emphasis.
He looked at it confusedly for a moment, and then it dawned on him.
He then gave me a sheepish, "oh..."
Silly Josh.
Silly me for not explaining well enough.
But, kudos to Josh for pulling up his sleeves and doing what needed to be done, and unwittingly going the extra mile.
That's probably why he didn't mind cleaning the bathroom when I asked him again.
Since, you know, he didn't have to actually put his hands in the toilet again.
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