Monday, February 17, 2014

Worst EVER

I grew up watching all sorts of abominable B movies (think "Day of the Triffids" and "Radar Men from the Moon."). Dad had a penchant for these sorts of movies, along with the male equivalent of romance novels in the form of sci-fi books featuring scantily clad women in the clutches of enormous, laser gun-toting bugs.

But I suppose the reason I knew these movies were terrible was because I also watched epically awesome movies (like the original "Star Wars," anything "Star Trek" (except "Voyager"...that was just stupid), and the BBC "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."), so Dad didn't totally screw up as a parent.

From my experiences I decided to avoid B movies in general, and had mostly succeeded.

...until I didn't.

When we moved into our apartment forever ago, we made friends with our neighbors. Cory and Annette liked movie night as much as we did, and we frequently would have the boys go on ice cream runs while Annette and I would giggle and crochet things. We watched all sorts of movies together, and generally had a good time. I mean, no movie is so bad that good company can't make it better, right?


One fateful night, we decided to rent a movie.

It looked promising.

It had a catchy title: "George and the Dragon."

Sounds sort of Chaucerian. Or something.

It was, by far, the WORST movie I have EVER seen in my life. It ranks above "Day of the Triffids" on every possible level of worst movieness.

My list of bad movies would go like this, if I made one, which I guess I am doing, so here is my list of bad movies:

10. Twilight-the entire Drama
9. Andromeda Strain
8. 2001: Space Odyssey
7. Star Wars: Fake-isodes 1,2, and 3
6. Radar Men from the Moon
5.Day of the Triffids
4.George and the Dragon
3.George and the Dragon
2.George and the Dragon
1.George and the Dragon

Now, I can't tell you why this movie is bad, because, frankly, I have purged it from my memory. All I remember is the actor's face (James Purefoy), and I'm still disappointed that he sullied his career with this movie.

But, by all means, watch it, and remind me why my brain died a little after watching it.

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