Saturday, September 21, 2013


I've had cats all my life.

I'm not saying I'm a cat expert, but one thing that I know for certain is that all cats, everywhere, every breed, long hair, short hair, bald, small, big, male, female, purebred, mutt, whatever, they all poop.

And I'm pretty sure everyone else in the world knows this one, interesting fact. 

Another thing I know about cat poop is that it is gross, just like all poop is gross.

And I'm pretty sure everyone else in the world knows this, too.

Which is why we have cat litter.

The litter pours nicely into the square, kitty liner lined receptacles, making removal of said litter and subsequent poo fairly simple. 

Some even have drawstrings, making it even more easy to dispose of your felines feces.

That being said...

I'm going to be horrible and do something illogical. 

I'm going to stereotype my neighbors.


You heard me.

Okay, in my neighborhood, I have many neighbors. 

They are all rich.

Not like, "Oh, we are rich in children, and in the fruits of the garden we planted in our backyard" rich. I mean like when they have a garage "sale" I can't afford to buy anything (Dara = poor, but rich in children, and in the fruits of the garden we planted in our backyard). 

We have doctors, business owners, entrepreneurs, authors, judges, surgeons, actors, the list goes on and on. They own restaurants, lawn care companies, dessert boutiques, dance studios, bowling alleys, apartments.

And most of them are extremely, genuinely, whole-heartedly nice. 


(I say "most" because I haven't met them all.)

And you can't be a doctor, business owner, entrepreneur, author, judge, surgeon, or actor unless you have more than two brain cells to rub together. 

They are intelligent.

That being said...

It BOGGLES MY MIND that the intelligent people who surround me, who happen to be cat owners, have decided that, no, the litter doesn't belong in the trash. No, silly mortals. It belongs in the gravel along the side of the walking path my children and I frequent everyday. 

At first I thought the mounds were just some construction worker's piles of cement or some other material for constructingnessing, but no. Unless there is some new way of building things that involves kitty doodles.

I have looked away, so to speak, for months. But now I'm just mad.

Because today, as the Cub Scout leaders over the bear den, we decided to hold a conservation project on that path, to pick up the trash. And BEHOLD! All the kitty doodle! I had some of the scouts exclaiming loudly to my girls "DON'T TOUCH IT! IT'S CAT LITTER!" Even 9-year-olds know that kitty litter doesn't belong near humans (alive ones, at any rate). 

*Gnashing teeth*

So, I called the Relief Society president and left her a looooooooong voice mail about the kitty litter, and asked if something could be said about it to the general neighborhood public. 

But then I got impatient, and since my ward has a facebook page, I wrote a message and slammed it on the wall, feeling semi-mollified. It went like this:

Hi! This morning, the bear Cub Scouts did a conservation project out on M****** road, where the asphalt walking path is. The boys worked really hard! One of the things we had difficulty cleaning up were all the piles of cat litter out in the gravel. My husband went later and cleaned up about 200 lbs of it from the gravel, and that was only about half of it! I don't know who is doing this, but if they need somewhere to put it, they are more than welcome to put it in our trashcans. I will even cart my large garbage bin up there if necessary! It is a health hazard (toxoplasmosis, anyone?), and since a lot of children play in those rocks, I would plead that this stop. My kids frequently go rock collecting in the gravel, and I have to keep telling them "no" because of all the cat litter. The other problem is that some of the litter is clay, and it has absorbed so much water and baked in the sun so long it is turning into a giant, poo-speckled boulder. I'm thinking that the bears will be doing another conservation project out there, and it would be wonderful if we didn't have to deal with kitty doodles. Thank you!


I feel like having Jeremy go talk to the bishop about it to, and see if he'll announce something over the pulpit at church. 


And I don't care if they hate me. Dale's selling the house in the near future anyway, and then can go back to disposing of their kitty litter any way they like. But until we leave, I am going to do everything in my power to be super, duper annoying about the kitty litter. And I'm going to start by putting this sign into one of the remaining piles of poo:

Don't mess with a Dara.


Katscratchme said...

Say no to kitty poo! Hahah

The Mrs. said...

So did you get a response?

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