Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Can't have your cake and eat it too...

...which is the saddest truth ever.

So, last week I walked 20 miles. TWENTY. That may not seem like a lot on paper...or, erm, blog, screen...whatever...But it IS!

The last two miles were killer. I wasn't sure I was going to reach my goal, but I did, and I tipped my hat to myself (which is no small feat).

I was rather proud of myself.

But then I got disappointed in myself.

Because I ate candy.

A LOT of candy.

And ice cream.

The saddest part was that, after a while, I was just eating candy because it was there, and my inner miser told me I couldn't just throw it away, because that was like throwing money in the trash, and I had to eat it. Stupid inner miser.

So I didn't lose any weight last week.

I gained weight.

You know that saying, "two steps forward, and one step back"? Well, for me it was like "two steps forward, and then run backwards for six miles."

I decided that I needed to intervene in my own life (and Jeremy's, too, because somebody, I'm not saying who, brainwashed him into thinking candy is fantastic).

As I stood in the shower Sunday night, I had a brilliant Idea.

"HEY!" I said, scrubbing my hair. "I have a great idea!"

Jeremy's mouth, being full of tooth brush, attempted a reply.

"Mmffftttbbbbbb?"

"I think we should give up treats for the week, and at the END of the week, we each get $10 if we didn't eat treats!"

Jeremy was quiet for a moment.

"How about $5?" He replied. "Otherwise that's $80 a month."

Another miser...

"Okay!" I replied.

I continued scrubbing away, and then I had ANOTHER brilliant Idea.

"HEY!" I exclaimed. "I have a BETTER idea!"

"Yeah?"

"If YOU don't eat treats this week, I get $5, and visa versa!"

The brilliance of this plan gave me happy shivers. I could see myself giving up $5 for a cookie in a heartbeat, but eating a cookie and then having to tell Jeremy that he couldn't have his $5 was the ultimate deterrent. Nothing like guilt to stop you from disappointing someone you care about.

Jeremy agreed, and Monday I went treat-free. So did Jeremy, and we immediately noticed a weight difference (What can I say? We eat a LOT of candy around here. Can you say "Coping mechanism"?). I was excited. This was really going to work!

The Fates tried to intervene by way of cookies from our next door neighbors, but I stood firm, and didn't even take the plastic wrap off the top of the plate. No, I said to myself, I can't disappoint Jeremy.

Tuesday morning, those cookies were staring at me through the plastic. But I still didn't bend. I sent Jeremy this text:

"I just wanted you to know that I love you more than those cookies in the kitchen. You WILL have that five dollars!"

Jeremy didn't reply, probably because he was in a meeting...

OR BECAUSE HE WAS AT HIS BOSS'S DESK EATING SALT WATER TAFFY!

But I didn't know that....until I got this:

"I lost to a small piece of taffy. :("

It broke my heart....crushed my soul...

How could he? (When I told him that it made me sad that he lost my $5, he said he would have PAID $5 for that one piece of taffy...)

Those cookies started looking awfully tempting, especially since I wanted to sooth my wounded soul...

But then I thought, "Gee...Jeremy should still have the $5...I'll be strong!"

And I continued to stare at the cookies.

I picked up the plate of cookies, and lifted the plastic and sniffed them.

Ooooo....

I then sent Jeremy this text:

"Can I have a cookie since you had a candy?"

He didn't reply for a super long time. It was like, 13 minutes.

He replied with an innocuous, "I guess."

My heart skipped a beat and I pulled a cookie out and put it on my desk next to my lunch, and stared at it while I ate whatever it was I made for myself. I don't think I even tasted it. It was nothing with that cookie in front of me (Do you see how sad this is?).

And boy was that cookie good.

I had half a mind to eat the other cookies on the plate, but decided that Jeremy and I were even, and that we should try and salvage our week, and maybe, if we were good, we could still do the $5 thing at the end of the week. Jeremy did say, after all, that he ate the taffy before he remembered what were were doing. Well, actually, he ate one, and then as he unwrapped another one and was about to pop it into his mouth he remembered...and then ate the taffy. So, it was technically an accident...a happy accident, I suppose, but an accident just the same.

I've lost almost 3 lbs since Monday, so our efforts are apparently working. I'm sure what happened was I ate a whole bunch of candy last week, which made me retain water, and when I stopped eating it, and was drinking lots of water, it flushed out of my system. But still...I have 10.25 miles I've gone this week already, and I have another 1.8 to go to reach my goal for the day. I want to reach 24 miles this week, and I think I can do it. I originally planned on 27, but that was kind of a leap from 20.

It's amazing what the human body can do! So get out there and walk today!


2 comments:

Katscratchme said...

Ben says, "That is messed up! Funny... but messed up."

Tina said...

Love the $5 idea. I'd definitely stop eating sweets if I knew I'd get a new shirt from Ross or somewhere cheap (ish). Good luck with it all!! :)

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