Friday, May 3, 2013

One Book, Five Stories...

I've written a book.

It wasn't very good. But, I only had thirty days to write it, so you can't expect too much, I suppose.

It was a good exercise in getting novel writing out of my system (thank heaven). I'll leave the novel writing to novelists. I'm no story teller.

Jeremy is, but I don't seem him writing a book. Maybe I'll write his stories down, and then we can become fabulously wealthy and retire on some farm. Raise chickens...

Jeremy tells these stories to the girls at night. My favorite one went something like this: "Once upon a time there was a cow and and owl, and the owl was digging around in the ground, and then the cow flew by, and said, 'Hey, what are you doing? You are supposed to be flying!' and so the cow landed and the owl flew up, and the cow began digging, the end!" I have no idea why a cow would be digging, but the girls liked it so I guess that's all that matters.

I do have an on-going tale, however. It began with a love story, and now has developed five sequels. Yes, I'm going to be cheesy. Those five stories begin with Joshua. So, I'm going to give a brief synopsis on each of these little stories because they are stories that need telling.


"Galileo gained the nickname of 'The Arguer.' Ha ha! Sounds like you, Josh!"

I read somewhere once that you should never tell your child not to argue with you. This is very difficult for me, since growing up I wasn't allowed to question my parents. Well, maybe I shouldn't say I wasn't allowed. I should say it was strongly looked down upon (it wasn't allowed), and the arguments usually ended with, "BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

Joshua has yet to accept that kind of response as legitimate (and frankly, neither have I...). It is frustrating, though, to have an 8-year-old little person argue with everything. I think he gets it from Jeremy. Watching the two of them is rather entertaining, actually. For example:

"Joshua!" Jeremy exclaims. "Will you please stop arguing with me??"

"I'm NOT arguing!" Joshua argues.

"Yes, you are!" Jeremy argues back.

"If you would just understand, you would see that I'm not arguing!"


It does please me that Joshua wants justice to prevail, and that people see his side. I'm glad he is strong willed. I think he'll grow into a great man, eventually, if he constant arguing doesn't get him killed first.

If Josh were a plant, he'd be an oak. If he were an animal, he'd be a golden retriever puppy. If he were a book, he'd be a textbook.

"Mommy," Eva gushed. "You are beautiful..."

I glowered a little.

"Thank you, Eva."

Eva batted her eyelashes and minced away.

"Gah!" I exclaimed to Jeremy later. "It's like she's a bit of fluffy cotton candy!"

Jeremy gave me a look of gentle reproof.

"She'll grow up and be wonderful."

"Yeah..."I replied half-heartedly. "But she's like a permed, pink unicorn tail..."

Jeremy laughed, and I laughed, and then I snorted a disgruntled little snort.

Don't get me wrong, I love Eva to pieces. I have never met a more tender, loving little person (Dad even said she was in danger of becoming his favorite with all her politeness). But she oozes "girl" and has an aura that I can only describe as "pink candy." I'm all for it (pink IS my favorite color, after all), but my feminist sympathies want Eva to have a little steel running through all that sugar. It's wrong of me. I should let fluffy fluff lie...and blow about in the wind...

If Eva was a plant, she'd be a pink rose. If she was an animal, she'd be pink unicorn. If she was a book, she'd be "Fancy Nancy."

Lily walked up to me, sincerity dripping from her voice, and a look of true penitence in her eyes.

"Mommy..." she began. "I sowwy I kick Eva..."

"Then don't do it!" I reply, my rebuke gentle.

The look on Lily's face changes radically to an expression of devious delight.

"I kick Eva! Hee hee hee!"

I described this exchange to Mom, and she replied that Lily is a psychopath. I'm sure she was kidding...I hope she was kidding...

I think Lily is more perverse than anything else. And as much as I'd like to blame her behavior on the personality she descended to earth with, she is also a product of her environment (i.e. me).

After all the kicking going on, we've decided we need to split Eva and Lily up. Eva will be sharing a room with Eden as soon as we can get another bunk bed. At first, Lily was extremely saddened at the prospect, but we keep talking up the whole idea of her having her own room, and she seems to be okay with the idea. So okay with it that she went to bed last night very cranky that she didn't have the bedroom to herself yet. Sorry, little girl. You have to wait until this weekend.

If Lily was a plant, she'd be a Venus fly trap. If she was an animal, she'd be a ferret. If she was a book, she'd be "Llama, Llama, Red Pajama."

Eden face planted into her birthday cupcake. She sat up, her face covered in white frosting. She smiled big, and then laughed.

That's Eden. Happy as the day is long. And she loves to please.

Jeremy brought a jar of Spanish olives to the dinner table. Eden indicated that she wanted him to share.

Jeremy forked one, and then popped it in Eden's open and waiting mouth.

Jeremy threw me the look that said I better not influence my daughter, and so I smiled broadly when Eden turned her concerned face towards me as she moved the olive around her mouth.

She registered my smile, and tried to feel better about the olive. After about 2 seconds, she was done and spat it out into Jeremy's hand.

Her brows came together, and she looked around at all of us sitting around the table, and exclaimed with true conviction, "EW."

I laughed, a good, hearty belly laugh. The kids laughed. Even Jeremy did. Eden smiled and laughed, pleased that she had entertained everyone so completely.

If Eden was a plant, she'd be a daisy. If she was an animal, she'd be a bear cub. If she was a book, she'd be "Moo Bah La La La!"


Leah cried out. She'd been asleep for 3 minutes.

"Hey, blob," I said, picking her up. "You're supposed to be asleep!"

She ignored me, preferring to focus her attention on the one lamp still lit in our room, and her arms waved weakly towards the light.

She was six weeks old on Sunday, and she celebrated by sleeping for eight hours that night. Such a generous little soul, giving presents to her mommy!

If Leah was a plant, she'd be a mushroom. If she was an animal she'd be a goat. If she was a book, she'd be blank. She hasn't told her story yet.

1 comment:

Katscratchme said...

This is cute.. makes me want to think about my little stories. Maybe in a month or two, when it doesn't seem like I'm plagiarizing.

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