Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Dud

I've been feeling kind of sorry for myself lately.

I write a blog, nobody comments.

I text someone, they never text back.

I want to wake up at 7 AM so that I can exercise, but I just hit the snooze button and sleep in until 9 AM, and then because it is what it is, I don't get myself organized enough to get breakfast on the table until 11 AM.

I want to be Magic Mom, and do all sorts of brain enhancing projects with my kids, but I'm too tired.

I want to be Super Woman, and I'm not.

You know, that whole schtick. The typical "Woe-is-Mes." I was even considering ending my blog. Just print it off, and then close 'er down. I had a lot of  "nobody cares anyway," thoughts.

Today it came to a head.

I was sitting and playing Candy Crush Saga (a game I have removed and reloaded so many times I can't even count), and after I died on a level, and had run out of lives, a little box popped up that said, "Get Life."

I sat there, feeling melancholy, and thought, "Yeah...I probably should."

As I sat there clicking little pieces of candy into oblivion, my mind began replaying my life, and began wondering if there was a "I Hate Dara" website out there. I've had a lot of people not like me very strongly, and the idea that such a website could be in existence struck me as a real possibility. I decided to Google it.

It was kind of scary to type that into the search bar.

My fears were alleviated  however. Nobody has started that website yet. I toyed with the idea of starting it myself, so that I could be a tragic heroine of my own making.

Anyway, as I was reviewing my past, I thought of some guys I dated, and I wished I'd had these girls following me around:

They would have been super handy during my college dating career.

Anyway...

As I continued with my game, the message popped up again, "Get Life."

(Gosh, I was trying to make this an inspiring post, and I'm starting to get all depressed again...sheesh...)

While I was thus wasting away my day on a stupid Facebook game, I was simultaneously scrolling through Pinterest (multitasking makes me feel like I am accomplishing something). I had scrolled through all the DIY and Crafts section, the Beauty section (where I found a post about completing a squats challenge, and I seriously debated for 10 minutes whether or not I should post it to my boards due to the picture being a scantily clad lady bottom...I decided it was too valuable not to post. I mean, it's a squats challenge. How could I NOT post it?), and finally made it to the Kids section.

Mostly it was just cute pictures of babies.

But there was a pin for an "Inspiring Mom Blog." I thought I'd give it a whirl.

She WAS inspiring.

Not like, "Wow, she's so awesome that I could never be that awesome, she's just THAT awesome," inspiring. But like, "WOW! I want to do that, too!"

Specifically, she talked about how she had gotten so wrapped up in life for an entire decade that she gave up  running, a passion of hers. She decided to jump in with both feet and do the Dirty Dash (see what I did there? Ha ha!)

I thought to myself, "Hey, if she can do it, so can I!"

Unfortunately, I'll have a 2.5 month-old baby by the next Dirty Dash. I'm not sure I can swing it this year.

BUT, that's not the point.

The point is, there are goals I am striving for, and by golly, I'm going to jump in!

Of course, after the first part of my blog, I'm feeling kind of down again...sorry if I dragged you down with me....

Anyway, it's time to get moving (metaphorically speaking).

While I can't do all the exciting physical activities I would like, I have been able to get out and walk with the kids quite a few times in the last week. I am always fascinated by how resilient the human body is, and how it craves to  move. It's been nice getting out and discovering that I can handle both physical exertion and five kids at the same time.

I've also lost 20 lbs since having Leah. That's pretty awesome! I'm 10 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight, and I'm determined to get there. I'm not about being skinny. I'm about being strong.

I have pretty strong feelings about body image, and think it is very important that women don't judge themselves against other women. Each of us came in different packaging, and there is nothing wrong with that! I want to be at my optimum, so that I can be my optimum with all aspects of my life.

This past weekend was General Conference, and the two weeks before I had been praying for inspiration, specifically about my family. It came in abundance!

There was an address given about family that struck me. The speaker talked about "benign negligence" in family life. He basically said we need to unplug from electronics and reconnect as a family.

I brought this up to some friends of mine (who also listened to the address), and they quickly shot it down saying that they didn't feel like they could let their kids go outside in this day and age, and so what else could they do, blah blah blah.

I felt like they missed the point. It wasn't an outside vs. inside idea. It was about engaging your children through words and actions, not through TV or other electronic devices. It is about active attention vs. apathy.

I want to be a better mom. I want to be one that engages not ignores her children (never mind that I have a screaming newborn right next to me while I write this and a toddler sitting on the table playing with an entire bag of colored pencils doing who knows what with them...).

So there you have it.

I have some things I want to do, and goals I want to reach. I have my work cut out for me, and I haven't decided if I want to document it on here as I go.

Maybe I will...

Or maybe I'll just unplug altogether and, well, Get Life.  

6 comments:

Katscratchme said...

Hey.. I answer your texts. :P I'm the best texter, when I text.... texty, text.
Anyway. Don't unplug this blog. I NEED it.. I don't always comment, but I always read.

FINDING PEACE IN 2012 said...

Well said. I totally agree and can relate. Sheesh, life get's down in the dumps sometimes. Those are some good goals. I'm trying for the same right now - being a better mother. It's hard to be there sometimes. I mean really be there. Especially when I'm tired. I just want to unplug and escape reality a little. I find myself needing to unplug more for sure. I feel so much better when I'm really engaging with the kids and watching their faces and playing. And in moments like that I question: why don't I do this more often? Thanks for reminding me that my feelings are normal and that I'm not alone.

Jen said...

Sometimes I need Plants vs. Zombies. It prevents me from eating my family's brains. There's nothing wrong with a little "down time" as long as the "down time" doesn't exceed the productive time.

Trillium said...

I always read your blog. If I don't leave a comment it is due to my own distractions and inarticulateness. It frequently takes me a very long time to figure out what I really think about anything.

The Mrs. said...

Don't leave your blog!! I check it like 3 times a week! I'll start commenting, I promise!

Sarah Stufflebeam said...

I totally hear you about the blog bit. I've only got 2 followers, and sometimes I'm like "what's the point?" All my view counts are spam bots from Russia.

Oh, and there's a dirty dash on 9-14-2013. I guess it's so popular here in Utah that they've decided to do a fall one.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...