Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Give a little respect....

One of the things I have been working on the last few weeks is being a better parent.

Oh,, no! You are too kind! Me? The best parent you have ever met? You make me blush...

Anyway, it came to the point where I dragged out all my parenting books and set them on the counter and informed Jeremy he would be reading them with me, and then, magically, we would be the best parents on earth.


The books are still sitting there.

But they look artistic, and make me feel like I am a better parent just because they are sitting there.

So, because I wasn't gleaning any sort of magical parentness from not reading the books, I turned to praying super hard that I wouldn't be a mean mommy, and that I would be blessed with oodles of patience.

And you know something?

It actually worked.

I have also been reading "Live the Good Life," by President Monson. I highly recommend it to ya'll, and I just picked up the conference edition of the Ensign from my china cupboard where it has been carefully collecting dust for the last few weeks (I was out of town, don't judge me...*cough*). The first two talks have to do with being a good parent. Well, at least, they are about children, which translated into being a good parent for me.

I can't think of a harder job than being a mom. I mean, if you mess up a project at work, it will be given to someone else, if worse comes to worse, or if worst comes, you will get fired. If you mess up as a mom, you ruin a person. That's hard to live with. Plus, you never get fired and never see any severance pay.

As with any relationship, the only way a person changes if you change. If you are cranky and mean to someone, they are going to reply in kind. If you are kind, and let things slide that would normally drive you up the wall, your relationship is a million times better.

This works well on adults, I have found. Just sayin'...

So, why not kids? Especially little people who love you and forgive you when you make fire-worthy mistakes?

One of the things I learned from President Monson was that in order for the home to be a great place, there has to be respect. Yes, I am talking about old school respect from child to parent, but also from parent to child.

Have you ever considered that your little people deserve respect?

I hadn't. I guess I figured that it was something children gave to adults.

But, in the grand scheme of things, those little people are just big people in a compact package, trying to figure things out, and they deserve room grow and develop, and they also deserve respect and love, just like all of us do.

I think it's hard to remember that.

Like the times when your child writes their name on the table cloth.

Or when your child colors on the windowsill.

Or when your child is throwing a tantrum in public.

But, I truly believe that respect that is mutually felt changes a relationship.

Even if your child is feeling angry or obstinate, that is no time to pull out your parent big guns. I think that is an opportunity to take a deep breath and show them that you can be respectful even if they aren't going to be, and that plants itself somewhere in their subconsciousness.

It's proven.

You know those moments when you realize you have become one of your own parents? Yeah, see?

Anyway...Just a few of my little thoughts today. Nothing fancy.


Rebecca said...

great blog! It is worth it. Just wanted to let you know. My relationship with my kids is based on mutual respect. It helps keep the lines of communication open. I like it when my kids come home and say: "Mom, guess what?.... it was really cool... or, remember my friend..."

Katscratchme said...

Love! We're all on a learning curve.. just some of us are at steeper parts. :)

FINDING PEACE IN 2012 said...

Thanks for your insight. I've been pondering on this lately and this helped me put more of the pieces together. So thanks!

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