Thursday, December 8, 2011

There was an old drain that swallowed a spider...

I, in no way, shape or form, have any sort of sentimental feelings towards pigs or spiders...that being said...

The awesome thing about homeschooling, is that you get to learn all sorts of cool stuff as the teacher, and you actually enjoy all that learning the second time around.

For instance, I have learned all sorts of stuff about geography that I am ashamed to say I never knew before, or, mostly likey, blocked from my memory. Like where Israel really is.

And that India is actually not somehow attached to the side of Africa, but is actually just to the right a ways.

Anyway, in October our studies followed some Halloweeny themes, like ghosts, and bats, and of course, spiders.


I was a dutiful mommy and I grabbed a whole bunch of books on the subject, and even though we are a strictly anti-spider household, I tried to be as unbiased as possible when talking about spiders with the kids.

(You have to keep in mind, we have a strict rule in the house: If it is a spider or a fly, you can kill it by any means possible (and my kids have had a heyday running around with wads of toilet paper gleefully smashing spiders with them and flushing them down the toilet). If they are outside, you leave them alone...unless it's a black widow, in which case, you may do what you like, i.e. drop bricks on it, or large pieces of furniture, but don't touch it, and wait for mommy to empty an entire can of Raid on it, light it on fire, and then fling its remains into the neighbor's yard.)

So, I pulled out one of the books (I don't recall what it was titled), and began reading. One side of the book had interesting facts about spiders, and the other side had a story you followed about some freaky little kids and how awesome they thought spiders were.

One of the facts was that spiders do indeed get thirsty, and that is why they are in the shower when you hop in. No, they aren't purposefully trying to make you jump, and thus slip and die, so they can feed on you. They are just thirsty.

You'd think they'd get enough liquids sucking the innards out of bugs.

But that's irrelevant.

So, a few days ago, despite my uncharitable feelings towards our eight-legged friends, I sort of felt sorry for this little ground-feeder that was stuck in our sink. Jeremy glibly announced the spider's presence in the sink, and washed it down the drain. The KITCHEN drain. You know, the one with the garbage disposal.

My heart jumped to my throat. I had visions of walking blithely up to a water fountain, only to discover I was trapped and suddenly I was being washed down a hole with giant, rapidly rotating blades...

"DON'T TURN IT ON!" I exclaimed, suddenly having empathy for the ugly thing. "IT WAS JUST THIRSTY!"

Jeremy snickered.

"I wasn't going to," he replied, shaking his head.


That lucky spider survived to live another day, thanks to my newly acquired knowledge of his habits, albeit he would live it in the drain. Where he may have a difficult time surviving in all that frigged* water. But at least he wasn't ground up.


*Supposed to be "frigid"....I just looked up "frigged" and I feel like boiling my retinas.


Savannah Weech said...

Just wait until you are washing dishes one day and he crawls on your hand! That'll teach you charity for spiders!!

WV: flyhousu- what your house will be when no children are there to "gleefully run around with wads of toilet paper" to smash them. Or alternatively, a rap song. It could catch on!

Trillium said...

:D hehehe

Shydandelion said...

I spelled it, and then my spell checker corrected it, and then I thought it looked wrong, but then I thought "the spell checker couldn't be wrong" even though I know that they don't understand content, but whatever... :D

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