Wednesday, August 31, 2011


I feel really bad for Jeremy.

I'm not a snuggler.

After about 30 seconds, I start feeling claustrophobic and begin to bite.

Which is sad.

Jeremy, if he had his way, would be at the bottom of a giant pile of people (people he likes, that is), and would be completely content up to the very last breath, and would promptly die of happiness and asphyxiation, and I would be about a 75 yards away from said pile, behind a barbed wire fence, and a can of mace yelling, "SEE?!? See where your incessant need for affection has gotten you!?!?"

I know I have talked about this before. I'm bound to repeat myself, you see, especially since I am approaching 500 posts, and my subject matter is limited, and let's face it, motherhood turns your brain into mush (but a happy warm apple sauce...or fresh play dough...or baby poo...).

BUT, I am talking about this today, because Jeremy's birthday is tomorrow.

The big Three Three.

Okay, maybe it's not so big.

"You know," I quipped one day. "Jesus was in the middle of his ministry when he was your age."

I don't remember Jeremy's response (mother brain = mush. Did I mention that?), but if it's like any of the other responses Jeremy gives me, then it was probably a half-smile, side-ways glance, I'm-only-JUST-tolerating-you face.

He's so cute when he makes that face!


So, here's to Jeremy, my snuggly husband! Jeremy, if you can hear this, you are awesome. I was super tempted to call your phone today and hold it up to the radio that was playing When In Rome's "Promise" because I know how much you like awesome 80s music. Just like me. Match made in heaven.

My special gift for him (besides the box of chocolates I handpicked out at See's, making very sure that I picked ones I wouldn't be tempted to eat, and I succeeded, because Jeremy likes truffles, and I'll be frank, I think truffles are overrated, and the combination of fruit and chocolate violates the laws of nature, and I even picked out a coconut one, just to show that I was REALLY getting it for Jeremy, and I wasn't going to sneak any, because, it's not MY birthday, even though I like the smell of coconut, but the texture reminds me of spider legs) will be 20 minutes of snuggling.

...well...maybe 15.

Maybe I'll count to 60 slowly and call it good.

Or maybe I should just get him a copy of "How to hug a porcupine" (prequel to "How to spank a sloth" and "How to cuddle a crocodile." I'm eagerly awaiting "How to soothe a kinkajou," out Fall 2012!).

Happy Birthday, Jeremy! You're my bestest friend in the whole world!



Tara said...

Oh, good. You have no idea how good it is to know I'm not the only one that gets that look from him. :P Dara - I miss you and think we should play so I will see you Saturday. Jeremy - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Doodle On Yoo said...

I am having a hard time breathing at the moment....HA HA HA HA HA! I hate snuggling too. Happy Birthday Jeremy!!!!!

Trillium said...

Happy Birthday Jeremy!
I think I noticed a card came in the mail for you from California...

Tina said...

Hey, I just read that book to my kids last night. (How to hug a porcupine) I didn't know there were others out there like it! So funny!
I hope you have (had) fun snuggling! I'm sure he will just love it and that's why we do things we don't like to do because it makes our man happy right!!!? Happy b-day Jeremy!

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