Saturday, July 23, 2011

Temper, Temper...

I got angry today.

So, all rational conversation went out the window, and I produced a lot of slobbery "glarablu tthhbbppp grrrr snraggle pooooooop!"

I then went a bought a fish.

Which was a stupid thing to do because now I have another creature to take care of and make sure doesn't die.

I know it's not Mr. Fishie's fault, but I am bitter towards him for he is the embodiment of my anger-ness.

Which makes me think of deer.

We have stupid deer who ate my lettuce.

And apparently it's illegal to shoot deer where we live.

Maybe if I put Mr. Fishie out there, the deer will eat him, too...

So I went to look at my garden after I bought my hate-fish, and glowered at my produce.

My zucchini have attitude. Underneath my one healthy zucchini, I have two other wrinkly yellow ones that are giving me attitude.

Them, and the pygmy Roma tomatoes that are growing next to them.

And one of the plants I was faithfully watering for weeks turned out to be a weed.

Stupid weed.

Stupid deer.

Stupid fish.

Then I read some "Little women," and felt guilty, because I am not as nice as they are.

Or as good.

Stupid Little Women.

And that made me think of my friend, Steve, who wrote a book, and I haven't read it yet, or joined his Facebook fan club.

And the library doesn't have a copy.

Stupid library.

And Barnes and Nobel sells it for $20.

And that is stupid.

No offence to you, Steve. I am just offended that they charge so much. Nevermind that I spent $40 on Mr. Fishie and his house....

Books shouldn't cost that much. I mean, I got a "discard" Beatrix Potter board book from the library today for .50 cents!

You should sell your book for .50 cents, and I'd even buy two copies because cheap things should be bought in bulk. Except, then, I suppose you wouldn't make a living.

And then Jeremy thinks he's the spiky-haired stick figure I draw.

"DUDE!" I yell. "You are SOOOOO self-centered. This blog is about me! ME!"


AND THEN, I had tacos for lunch, and have indigestion.

Stupid tacos.

*glaring some more*


Tabby said...

I had a toy once that sang, 'the farmer hits the wife' then it sang 'the wife hits the kid', then the kid hits the dog and then the dog hits the cat, and there was a mouse somewhere.... and it all came down to the cheese stands alone. At least that's how I remember it....

Steven said...

Wow, somehow I made it into the hate chain! I don't know why Orem City Library doesn't carry my book, but I've considered donating a copy so they do. And yes, B&N sells my book for a ton, and I don't get much of that.

Sorry about the deer, but you could always "accidentally" hit one with your car or a large boulder. And sorry about the rest. Booh on it all!

Katscratchme said...

Ha, ha!

What kind of fish did you get?

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