Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Pink Snakes and Unicorns

I was eating lunch in the kitchen yesterday, and the conversation went something like this:



"Mom, can you show me a rattlesnake mouth?" Joshua asked.




"Okay," I replied. I quickly googled it...or maybe I binged it...whatever.




It pulled up the designated snake mouth, and also the hand of someone who gotten bitten by said mouth. It wasn't pretty. I then had to explain in layman's terms what had happened to the poor soul who got bitten, and by golly, that is why people should stay away from snakes. *Long, lingering stare at Joshua*




The pictures then spawned a conversation about other types of snakes, ultimately ending with the great Anaconda.




I had shown Josh a picture of one that ate an alligator and had subsquently exploded a few months back and it was still fresh in his memory.




"Are there anaconda in Utah?" Josh asked, fretfully.




"No," I replied. "There are no anaconda in Utah. They had some in Florida, but most of them are in Brazil."




Eva then ran up to me with wide eyes and an enthusiastic chirp.




"I WANT A PINK SNAKE!"




"Sorry, Eva...there are no pink snakes."




I immediately wanted one, too, and felt sad that there weren't any. I mean, wouldn't a pink snake be awesome?? What kind of world do we live in that doesn't have pink snakes??




Undaunted by her lack of pink snake-ness, Eva squeaked, "I want a unicorn!"




"You can't have one, Eva," Josh reprimanded her.




"Unicorns!" She squeaked again.




"Eva," Josh said in a stern voice. "There are no unicorns in Utah."




Again, sad feeling in my heart....




Someday, I will have a pink snake, a unicorn, and a dragon.




I will.




And I will take my pink snake with me while I alternately ride my unicorn and dragon.




And I will teach my unicorn to ride the dragon, so I can sit on both.




And my pink snake will curl up in my shirt, next to my belly to keep warm on our chilly flights on the stacked unicorn-dragon, but most of the time, I would hold him up so he could feel the wind in his face...









Awesome....

5 comments:

Katscratchme said...

OMG! I want a unicorn and a dragon too! I don't care about the pink snake....
Insert pink snake joke here...

ceej said...

erm....pink snake just leaves me with inappropriate thoughts, especially one curling up on your belly...(inappropriate pink snake joke censored)

Rebecca said...

well there are albino snakes. Find a picture of one of those to show Eva. I want a dragaon too! I don't care for unicorns any more. DAD spoiled that one for me. Remember the massive unicorn collection I had? Dad's comments left me disturbed and I trashed every last one.

Trillium said...

There were tiny reddish colored snakes in Minnesota when I was a kid. Snakes are creepy no matter what color they are.

Zaphod said...

sssssssssss.......

Actually, I am more of a mauve snake...... mauvelous...... and I am not creepy.... I am just vertically challenged....

I like unicorn on the cob.....

My dragon was so fat that I had to put him in a dragon-wagon..... He was so thirsty that I had to get him a dragon-wagon-flagon. He gained so much weight that I ended up with a saggin-dragon-flagon-wagon...

I got a million of these.

Thus saith the deponent

"aftingly": what happens when you sit too long infront of a computer screen.

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