Crunklie

Chris invented a word years ago: Krickle. It's awesome. It perfectly describes how I feel about my children getting kidnapped.

So, I was very pleased when Eva invented Crunklie. It's a good, solid word. She used it to describe her wonky sandal a few days ago. And it perfectly describes my day today...

It was one of those days today...

I woke up.

And I really shouldn't have.

But, since I have little people I had to drag myself out of bed.

Blast those little people....

Not that they are bad.

But, when mama ain't happy...well, you know how it is...

It seems to me that instead of children freaking out and being total lunatics when mommy is a sorry-sack of a mess they should look at their mommy and have pity and compassion and be as quiet and tiny as possible.

But that isn't how it is.

They like to copy.

And, if they are being true to what they are imitating, man...I feel really bad for Jeremy.

I ended up slouched in my computer chair, head on the desk, with my arm trailing on the floor while Jeremy pleaded for me to help him put the kids in bed.

"I can't," I replied, slurping the rather impressive drool puddle back into my mouth. "I'm not here right now."

Only slightly amused, Jeremy asked, "Who's there, then?"

"I don't know," I moaned, wondering why he wasn't showering me with love and/or chocolate. "Beelzebub...or Legion, perhaps."

I then felt a tad sacrilegious, and attempted to be at least a 13% mom and help out...especially when the terrified Lily screams came wafting down the hallway.

Apparently the kids put Lily in the baby swing and were giving her the ride of her life, and Eva decided that everybody needed a bath via her very full water cup.

Josh went to his room, Eva went to her room, and Lily wandered, shaken (and wet), into the kitchen. I wrapped her in her blanket and held her.

She must have been really freaked out since she is 100% Daddy's girl. Mommy will only just do in a pinch.

We gathered our naughty brood together in the kitchen, commanded them to kneel, and Jeremy and I avoided eye contact when it was time to say prayer. Both of us felt evil. But my hesitation lasted longer than Jeremy's, and he was the one who had to shame-facedly address our Maker and apologize for being the crumbiest parents on earth, and then put in a shameless plug that "we all be good and obedient tomorrow."

Jeremy then got dressed and went to the temple, and I filled a bowl with an obscene amount of icecream and watched water marbling nail technics on Youtube.

Yeah...

If I get into heaven, it will be because of Jeremy.

But maybe Lily will put a good word in for me.