Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Onions + anything/anybody = yuck, and Happy Anniversary to Us!

Today is my anniversary!

Eight years...Seems like forever, but seems like only a moment.

I'm really hoping I look cute today...not that my cuteness or lack thereof is a deterrent. Most of the time, our home is a mini Serengeti, and I'm the frantically running gazelle, hopping over furniture to escape the voracious appetite of the male cheetah that is Jeremy (visions of me being dragged up a tree in Jeremy's mouth...). But that's probably more information than you wanted...


So, because I am so learned in the things of marriage, I thought I would give some tips and tricks of the trade of keeping your marriage fun and exciting!

1. Spank* your spouse hard, and often.

*Note: You can substitute spanking with biting if you aren't the spanking type.

2. If you are going to eat onions, make sure your spouse has eaten some, too (see above illustration).

3. Keep things interesting by kissing your spouse lustily, then run away, and lock yourself in the bathroom.

4. Make sure you have dates. Mom and Dad always had dates, and they've been married a gazillion years.

5. That's about it.

I'm excited. I'm getting two cake stands for my anniversary (it's the pottery anniversary). I gave Jeremy this:

I put Dove Bliss in the cup (yes, cheesy, I know, but fitting).

They said on the website that the symbol means "love" or something, but I bet it probably says, "I eat boogers." But there's a heart on it, so...


*wanders off*


Tyson said...

Congrats! Eight years!! (That's not an exclamation of disbelief. It's an exclamation of excitement)!

Tina said...

Oh Dara!! Once again you made my day. You always share what all of us women want to but don't. I loved the part about you being the gazelle! I'm right there with ya!! Ha, ha, ha, ha! That is such a great gift for Jeremy. Love how you gave gifts according to the year you are married. How fun! Congrats you cute girl!!!

Trillium said...

The only thing more revolting than onion breath is probably garlic breath.

word verification: stspi
(what you sputter after inhaling garlic breath)

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