Monday, April 18, 2011

Performance Anxiety









I have two brains.




One is the brain in my head.


The other is the brain in my stomachal area.




Brain #1 says, "Today, you CAN do those 40 loads of laundry!"


Brain #2 says, "Today, all you're GOING to do is stare at those 40 loads of laundry and then decide eating three bowls of ice cream is better use of your energy!"




I exclaimed to Emily and Mom the other day, "I hope I am normal after the baby comes!" And that caused Emily to produce the loudest snort I have ever heard come from a human.




Hey, I can dream, can't I?




So, I'm having performance anxiety, in the sense that I'm not performing, and I'm anxious about it.




I am one of those people who feels bad about EVERYTHING, so when I can do NOTHING, I waddle through my existence feeling inadequate and broken.




I need to learn to just take joy in the small accomplishments.




Can't do those 40 loads? Well, I'll just try and be happy that I washed two and then put them in the basket. Clean underwear is still clean underwear, even if it isn't folded, and the cat has slept on it a few times.




Right?


3 comments:

Les said...

At least you have an excuse to sit and do nothing. Each morning I wake up with glorious ambitions of completing my mile long to-do list and depending on how the day goes I might accomplish a few things. Congratulations on getting 2 loads done;)

Tara said...

Why don't you go out to lunch with me and cross that off your list - super productive!

Rebecca said...

the girls are on spring break (2nd week) and I have taken the week off as well. My goal was to get the entire house clean and wade through the paperwork... My living room, dining room, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and Evan's room are clean. Still have the girl's room and the yard...

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