Terminal



I walked into the living room at 10:15 PM with a giant bowl of salad and an equally giant bowl of ice cream (my second bowl...I had the joy of eating the first bowl an hour earlier, and also had the joy of watching Jeremy lick the ice cream I accidentally launched into the air off the wall) . Jeremy looked at me and said,




"How long do you plan on staying up??"

I grimaced and plopped myself on the couch.




"Look, I'm just doing what my body tells me."




As much as I enjoy my body's random cries for weirdness, I am looking forward to when it's all over.




But...




I am TERRIFIED of the ensuing labor.




With my first pregnancy, I didn't know what to expect, so when the excruciating contractions came on I was surprised, but excited, because, WOW! I was in labor! It was novel.




With my second, I didn't even know I was in labor, so I was like, "I'm in labor!? *flowers showering my head* Weee!!!"




With my third, it was more like this:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *GASP*


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And the whole experience was further complicated with all the chaos with what was going on with my baby and why on earth her heart rate was dropping, blah blah blah.



So. As much as I hate the end of pregnancy, and as much as I love having that little baby in my arms, the in between unknowns are driving me to distraction.




When I have a minute to think (which seems like all the time), I think to myself, "Gee...is it going to be horrible??? Am I going to go into labor and not get to the hospital in time to get an epidural??? Will I scream??? Will I be able to make sure all the beds are made before I go??" And then I remember that if I go into labor during the day, I have 20 minutes until Mom can be here, so that should give me enough time to make the beds and at least unload the dishwasher, and maybe fold some laundry if I am with it enough between contractions, because, heaven forbid my house is a mess when I go to the hospital.




I can see it now... Mom shows up ready to leave Dad here to watch my kids (ha ha ha!), and I am alternately running around and curling up in a ball on the floor in pain trying to scrub the tile in my bathroom.

I think something's wrong with me.

Comments

Tina said…
I feel the same way. I'm up all night thinking about the hospital bag and if I should pack it now but that seems silly. Will I remember their take home outfits? Will I go into labor on my own this time (1st time) or will I have to be induced after all this scary bed rest? Will the pains start right during rush hour and it will take me 40 minutes to get to the hospital?
Yikes.... so many worries! I guess all that matters is that the baby is healthy and there are no complications right? If we don't get the beds made we can demand that be done by our good and faithful husbands before we have to come home and look at it ourselves!! Good luck! The end is near and it will be fabulous! Just wait and see....
Rebecca's Oasis said…
i was the same way. I just made sure that making beds and cleaning house was the first thing I did in the morning... Unfortunately, my children thought it was a wonderful idea to announce their coming while I was sound asleep. Poor Victor would crawl out of bed so exhausted from the previous day's work and then I would have to remind him later to call his boss to let him know that he wasn't coming in...

hang in there
Trillium said…
"Ain't it great to be crazy..."

Do you remember that camp song? It should be your theme song for the next 6-7 weeks, right?
Unknown said…
I would clean constantly and shower at night just in case labor hit...I wanted the house clean and my body. Well....baby #1 induced. Baby #2 induced. My plan worked. Baby #3, we were cleaning up from a party and I felt odd (yup labor)I didn't get a shower or have a clean house. Baby #4, my house was a mess from Papa visiting, Papa ended up babysitting overnight while I was in labor. Baby #5 I had just cooked a huge, complicated dinner and we didn't really clean up before going to the hospital (we thought we'd be right back).
With each one had the hospital bag packed by 36 weeks, a phone list on hand, route to the hospital, and my RS Pres on standby! I wanted to do this last labor natural like the previous one, but panicked when Nate had to leave me alone and opted for the epidural.

The most important thing: that baby is healthy and arrives safely. Have your stuff ready to go, a route planned, and a close neighbor willing to babysit on short notice. It's ok if the house is messy, the labor hard, and your armpits hairy. Baby won't mind. You've done this 3 times, you can do it again! :) Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!
Bethany said…
It's like being engaged, your life is in complete limbo. Except the end of pregnancy is even worse than engagement because you don't know the actual date.

I was induced with my first two for medical purposes. With Anne the doctor told me to head straight to the hospital because I was at a 5 and in labor. I had to go home and pack my hospital bag and straighten things up.
Rasman Toes said…
I never got around to packing my hospital bag, which is silly since I went overdue, but it just didn't ever seem urgent! My mom had to pack it for me, and I kept having to send my husband home for missing stuff (i.e. deoderant.) So it might be a good idea to pack it! But once you have your baby none of it will matter anyway. All the stress you're feeling right now will be a foggy distant memory!

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