Thursday, March 24, 2011

Living Space

I went to the doctor yesterday. I hate HATE HATE going. Mostly because I HATE that I have been living off of ice cream and honey nut cheerios and I can't seem to stop myself and I end up "retaining water" (read, gained a lot of fat).


So, I weighed myself before I went so I wouldn't cry in front of all the nurses.


When I was pregnant with Lily, my doctor commended me for my modest weight gain (which inspired me to eat an entire box of Klondike bars), and I have been dreading him saying something this time.


He hadn't. Until yesterday...


He looked over my chart, and said, "Blood pressure looks good, weight is okay..." I hid my gasping sob by pretending to choke on my saliva.


He then checked my baby.

She is down (whew...I was super paranoid about that).


And...


She is BIG.


Looking back at my chart, Dr. Insensitive quipped, "I don't know where Lily came from, but this baby, if not your biggest (Josh was 8 lbs 9 oz...something you don't EVER forget...), will be your second biggest." Which explains why I feel like my body is splitting in half...


I was pleased. All that ice cream is apparently doing some good.


But then I thought about it.. Big baby equals Ouchies. So here is a rendition of my pregnancies, in chronological order (I have provided a key so that it all makes sense...If that is possible. Oh, and those sticks are my arms, so don't let your imagination run too rampant):


1. "This is gonna hurt." 2. "The tunnel had already been blasted open, so not too bad." 3. "Just sorta fell out there, sir..." 4. "Holy..what the HECK IS THAT???"


This knowledge has not helped my already panic-bordering paranoia about my ensuing labor...not helped in any way, shape or form. Time for more ice cream....

6 comments:

Doodle On Yoo said...

Don't worry, they told me Taylor would be tiny (8lbs 3oz 22 1/2 inches), Afton they said would be huge!!! (6lbs 10oz 18 inches) I think they are clueless. :0

Les said...

Alot of times the baby can seem bigger because of the position they are in when the doctor measures you. My doctor said that James was going to be big and he was a whole 7 lbs. 2 oz. They can make guesses and sometimes they can tell but unless they do an ultra sound and actually measure the baby it is just a guess.

Rebecca said...

you're supposed to eat the ice cream with chocolate brownies warmed in the microwave

"DRAW NEARER TO HEAVEN IN 2011" said...

ha, ha, cant wait to see how this labor turns out. I'm sure it can't be worse than #1 - sqaure head, round hole! But then again if #4 comes with a trunk, that could get tricky! PS: to make you feel better, I gained 65 pounds with Ryder. So, it could be worse!

Tina said...

You are always making me laugh Dara!! And I'm impressed with the drawing of the elephant. Cloey is always asking me to draw an elephant or any animal for that matter but I have NO artistic ability.

Big babies mean healthy. I'd rather have an 8lb baby than a 5lb baby. It's going to be great! She'll be right in the middle at 7lbs. Just wait and see. No worries!!

Rasman Toes said...

Oh my goodness you are hilarious! Your elephant almost made me pee my pants. You make me want to be pregnant again (which is scary considering I JUST STOPPED being pregnant!)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...