Cookies Are a Sometimes Food

Do you know what the saddest part about this is? An hour after I finished making the cookie dough, I realized I put in too many eggs, so I had to put the blasted machine all back together (I eventually managed to pull the stupid beater off...and when I went to put it back on, it, of course, gave me no trouble. I think it's possessed...), and double the recipe, which resulted in the dough oozing over the sides of the bowl. Why not just bake the cookies with the extra eggs, you ask? Because that makes REJECT cookies, that's why.

Jeremy, knowing I was super stressed out, came home with a bag full of candy bars which made me want to throw up since I had eaten a LOT of cookie dough (yes, I know salmonella, blah blah blah...if my baby comes out with horns and a third eyeball, then I will stop eating cookie dough, but until that day...). The best part of that evening? Jeremy: "Uh...why is the hammer in the dishwasher?"