Silver Lining

Lily was crying out a little.

And then she'd stop...

And then cry a little...

I went into her room, and there she was, my little, bald jailbird, holding onto the bars. She smiled up at me and then showed me what made her stop crying.

*Squeak* *Squeak* *Squeak*

She was twisting the one and only loose bar on her crib. Made me giggle a little. Made her giggle a little.

I just wanted to share a few things that have made me smile the last few weeks. Like, a few days ago, when I was teasing Jeremy, and he gave me a menacing look while threatening me with a spoon, and I said,

"What? Are you going to spoon me to death?"

He went back to what he was doing and murmured, "No, I'm going to do that later..."

And last night, when I was talking about Vincent Price, and Jeremy quipped,

"Who's that? Fisher Price's brother??"

Ha ha ha!

Or when Joshua came up to me on his birthday and asked if he could "go" to his birthday. I explained that he didn't "go" to his birthday, it just happened. He replied, somewhat confused, "But I have to go to Pirate Island so I can turn six!"

Or when he wants to be with Lily so bad, he will pick her up and carry her around, and how he will put her on the couch with him, and tell me, "It's okay, mom. I'll watch her."

Or last night at the dinner table, when Jeremy was feeding Lily some chili beans. She opened her mouth wide, tasted the spicy food, shuddered, screamed in agony, and then opened her mouth for more.

Or Eva's constant concern about why the sky is dark at night, and where the sun went. "BUT WHY???" And as her concern grows, her voice gets higher and higher until all we hear is this stream of high-pitched "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" and we have to remind her to talk in her "normal" voice.

And when I kneel next to her so she can say her prayers at night, and I have to tell her to use a nice, loud voice and she says, "DEAR HEAVENLY FADDER..." and proceeds to use her incomprehendible "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" for the rest of her prayer.

Or those too-infrequent times when I remember that I am not just sick, but that I have a tiny person inside of me, who I can't wait to meet.

It's these things that make everything else worth it.