Monday, October 4, 2010

I'm a Mean Mom

Yesterday, Joshua walked by me, and said,

"I want a new mom."

It didn't register at first what he had said, and so I followed him into his room and asked him to repeat it.

He looked sheepish and said, "What I said before was that I want a new mom..." and topped it off with a big grin.

I assumed that he felt this way because two minutes before I asked him to put his laundry away, which was still piled up on his bed untouched.

It still hurt.

So, instead of turning it into a "I love you anyway, and I will always be your mother, even if you don't like me sometimes" lesson, I said (and I totally claim pregnancy craziness on this),

"Fine. I'm not your mom."

And I walked out.

A few seconds later, I thought of some other things to say to my not-son, and I returned. He was busy playing with his hangers.

"Fine, if I'm not your mom, you have to wash your own clothes, and make your own food."

Jeremy chipped in at that point.

"Yeah, you have to BUY your own food with your own pennies...."

After some mulling over this, it somehow got brought up that, now that I was no longer his mommy, the Gypsies were going to come and take him away. That always seems to happen when we are at odds with Josh. I dread the day I will actually have to produce a Gypsy.

My perverse sense of humor took complete control of my brain at that point and I told Josh that, since I was no longer his mommy, he had to go live somewhere else, and that it was nice having him visit, and I was sure somebody would give him some food if he asked nicely. I then escorted him to the door, let him out and closed the screen, and told him the Gypsies would be there in a few minutes to pick him up.

His little face went very serious, and his eyes welled up.

"But, I don't want to leave..."

I was starting to feel bad at this point.

"But you said you didn't want me to be your mommy anymore."

"But I do..." His eyes big, and still weepy.

I gave in (as I should have long ago).

"Okay, then I think you need to say you are sorry."

He rushed in and hugged me.


He then ran past me and into the kitchen. Hmmm. Guess it was more about food than anything else.

A few minutes later, Joshua ran out of his room with a hanger and ran like a mad man to the living room.

Jeremy and I looked at each other, and assumed he was avoiding his large pile of clean laundry.

I followed Josh, and there he was, standing next to the still-open door.

"What are you doing, Josh?"

"I'm gonna kill the Gypsies with this hanger!" He exclaimed, striking a fearsome pose.

"It's okay, Josh," I said, shutting the door. "Daddy called them and told them not to come."

He ran back to his bedroom and put away his clothes.

Bad me...


Trillium said...

That is so sad. It reminds me of the time that MY firstborn told the Ward Primary President: "I have a mean mommy." It still hurts my feelings.

Jam In Stew said...

I'm just glad Audrey hasn't come up with that concept, YET... The good thing is that they grow out of it. Hopefully it happens soon. Then you'll probably be well into another, larger challenge with him. I think it's really funny though.

Chris said...

Dude, the DCFS is going to come a knockin on your door! Look out!

Rebecca said...

i don't remember ever saying anything like that...

I love my mommy and I don't think she is mean.

Your story reminds me of my story about Evan and driving around in the middle of the night after he tried to leave the house via the back door.

He wanted to know where we were going and I told him that we were taking him to the trash dump because he was a naughty boy. He asked me if that was where Devlyn was and I said yes because she was a naughty girl (She was at Girls' Camp). After he promised not to leave the house again we told him we would keep him.

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