Wednesday, September 29, 2010

10 on the Barfictor Scale



Eating is a trial these days.




When I told Jeremy I have to force-feed myself so I don't get sicker, his response was,




"That's just sad."




Yes.




Yes, it is.




I took things slow today (and it ended up being insane chaos anyway), and started my day off by eating mild things, like cantaloupe...and a banana...and some orange slices...and 1/3 of an apple pie.




Went down smooth, as Dad would put it, but as the afternoon trudged on, I realized my very huge mistake.




I was reduced to laying face down on the couch in the playroom willing myself to live.




Jeremy came home and walked into the playroom with his hands behind his back and a sly smile on his face.




He had a surprise.




"Ta-DA!" he exclaimed, producing a can of sour cream and onion Pringles. I stifled the barf.




"Do you want some?" he asked, eagerly shaking the can.




Gulp.




"No, thank you..."




I then went to bed.




I woke up what felt like 20 seconds later (it was an hour and a half later) when Jeremy waltzed into the bedroom announcing that dinner was ready. The smell that followed him in (what with all his incessant waltzing) was putrid.




What is that??






barfbarfbarfbarfbarfbarfbarfSNIFFbarfbarfbarfbarfbarfBLECHbarfbarfbarfbarfbarfbarfSNIFFbarfbarfbarfWell...barfbarfbarfbarfMaybeI'llTryaLittlebarfbarfbarfbarf




It turned out to be Rice-i-roni. It looked like a pan full of brown, legless centipedes. But they tasted okay, so that's what mattered.




I almost lost it when Jeremy announced,

"Lily had a nice squishy poo...oh," he said, looking at my face. "Sorry."




I can hear Mom chanting in my head at these times, "This, too, shall pass." And my screaming tantrum of a response is "WHEN? WHENWHENWHENWHENWHEN??? AAARRRGGG!!!!" God is trying to refine my soul, I suppose, but since I am a reluctant Whatever-I-am, I am probably going to turn into a small, rock-like blob of crabbiness.




At times, when I come to myself, I look imploringly at Jeremy and beg,




"Please be patient with me! I'm a horrible mess..."




And he just smiles and hands me food that makes me want to yack. But I eat it anyway, because sometimes, you have to eat what makes ya sick so you don't die.

3 comments:

Doodle On Yoo said...

OH! I'm sorry Dara!
I have to do the force feeding at the end of my pregnancies. I get instant heartburn from even the blandest foods. :(
I hope your barf passes quickly.

Rebecca said...

you're eating too much starch! I told you... :)

increase your protein and don't eat anything acidic :)

Melanie Ann Millett said...

I do the same thing. I've been feeling nauseous and hungry at the same time. But I've learned that I have to MAKE myself eat at these times or else it will get much worse (which I have to remind myself is possible.) And I have to eat the second I feel hungry, otherwise I will get nauseous and not want to eat, which makes me more nauseous....Isn't this fun?

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