Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Gnashed His Terrible Teeth...

As I was driving home from the plastic surgeon today (don't EVEN go there...), I was trying very hard to not fall asleep. What can I say? I'm tired.

Anyway, there was apparent peace in the backseat until my little Lily gave that wounded cry that indicated she had been injured. Not upset, not saddened, INJURED. You know what I am talking about: initial yip of a cry, followed by the gasping, gasping, gasping until, at last, the blood-curdling scream has enough gasp to blast forth and reach Mommy's ears in wild, unleashed woundedness. What the...

I looked in the rear view mirror at the tiny, guilty looking pre-man in the middle seat who chirped, "I didn't hurt her!"

He hasn't figured out yet that when he says things like that I know for sure that he has, indeed, done some naughty deed.

Home we went, and while I dragged my eldest child from the car, he protested, "NO! SHE'S HUNGRY! SHE'S TIRED! AAAAHRRRRGGGG!!!"

*PLOP* he went into the naughty chair, while I sorted out my children into nice piles, and tried, again, not to fall asleep.

After gently folding Lily into her blankets and putting her nicely into the linen closet, er, I mean bed, I marched up to the guilty culprit, and demanded, "WHAT did you do?"

His little eyebrows collided together in the middle of his forehead and he, sheepishly, asked, "Uh, I think I bit her...?"

Oh boy.

Now, I can sorta understand why Joshua would do that to Eva, since she frequently eggs him on, but Lily?? My precious little baby?!?!? That's like picking on an amoeba.

What do you do in this situation???

I had heard somewhere that when your child has done something wrong, you tell them you are disappointed. Okay, so I did that:

"I am very disappointed in you, Josh."

No effect.

Then, of course, the whole, "Pick on someone your own size" philosophy? Well, perhaps I should point out how small she is, and that will help...

"She is a baby!"

No effect.

Okay, then I should take away something he really, really wants.

"You don't get to watch any TV for the rest of the day."

*Cha-CHING* Bingo! Joshua melts into a puddle of little boy.

Now, don't get me wrong here. Josh only gets to watch TV once a week, so taking it away was HUGE.

But, the Norse woman in me felt the need for some further brutish-like punishment.

"But Eva can," I added.

So Joshua spent lunch time in his room, while Eva sat on the couch and ate chips (and a sandwich...I am not just feeding my kids junk food...and don't throw yesterday in my face when I gave Josh a bag of jelly beans when he was hungry...those are exceptions, not rules).

Now, he is spending "quiet time" on the couch. Jeremy invented "quiet time" which, if you take out the "quiet," and add "out" after "time"...well, you get the idea.

I wish Joshua had come with a manual.

I wish I had come with a manual... Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have just become a granola mountain woman.


Katscratchme said...

...with braided armpit hair? HA! HA!

Audrey still has a hard time with what exactly happened. I KNOW she's doing something to Henry but she can't articulate it, which, considering her large vocabulary, is shocking and frustrating...

leafhopper said...

I was always told that the scriptures were our manual to raising children. I have a friend who swears by it, but alas, I'm not as inspired :0. But I do use Parenting with Love and Logic (check it out at the library).

Tina said...

I'm going through that right now too. Jacob will push, sit on, hit, kick and torment John but yet he does it somehow in a loving, none hateful way. I can't get through to him.
I hope the no t.v. thing worked for you. It sure works for us... most of the time...

Trillium said...

So what happened with the plastic surgery??????

Anonymous said...

Oh, I took Josh to see the PS to see what could be done about the scar tissue under his lip. But, of course, the Doc was unavailable, so we had to reschedule

Rebecca said...

just wait! Lily will get bigger and self sufficient and will torment Joshua endlessly.

Evan and Aislyn were not innocent when it came to Allisa - now it's pay back :)

Tiffany said...

I think you handled that very well! Things like that make me so upset, if it was Preston, I probably would've bitten him back to show him how bad it hurts. Ok maybe I wouldn't really do that, but then again you never know! :)

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