The problem with being honest...

So, Jeremy bought me a whole slew of books for Christmas (Yay!). The only problem was that the author has no morals (Boo!). So I decided to return them to Amazon and get some good books (Yay!).

I packaged up the books in the original box, slapped on the return label, and sent it off. The site says that it can take up to four weeks for a refund (boo), but I got an email this morning that said it was on its way (yay!).

I looked over the invoice. And I got a little cranky.

Amazon's return policy is pretty standard (unlike Wal-Mart, where you can use an item for years, and then, when you decide you don't want it anymore, you can return the product and get your money back). Amazon clearly states that you will only get a partial refund if anything you return is used. I felt pretty confident about getting a full refund since nothing I was returning was used.

On the invoice, it said that I got a full refund for everything. Except one book. They deducted $3 off of one book. Yeah, I know, I know...it's $3. But, you know me, and if you don't, see my entry entitled "Cheap" and then you will understand.

So, I scoured Amazon's website for the "Contact Us" link (which they don't have) and after much searching I finally got to a place where I could squeak out my complaint. It went something like this:

Hello,

I just wanted to know why the book in question is only getting a partial refund. I hadn't read the book, so it seems to me that I should get a full refund for it. I only returned those items which had not been opened or read, thus why I kept the first set of books....because I read them. If there is another reason why I am not getting a full refund for the book, please explain it to me, for my own peace of mind. Thank you.

*CLICK* and off it went into the void.

I really didn't think I would get a response for some time, but for kicks and giggles I checked. And there it was. A response.

To tell the truth, I really expected a fight from the person. Their response went something like this:

I am sorry for the inconvenience. I have requested that an additional $23.97 be credited to you. (What the...) If you have any further questions, please contact us, using our "contact us" link on our website. Thank you for shopping at Amazon.

I didn't want $23.97! I just want my $3!

So, I wrote the fellow back, and it went something like this.

Look, pal, I don't want your stupid $23.97. I just want my $3. Is it so hard to grasp that I am not entitled to a full refund for the whole purchase since I only returned PART of the order? Furthermore, I still haven't gotten an answer about the partial credit I got for the unread book. I am only entitled to $3. Sheesh, throw me a fricken bone here. THREE DOLLARS. That's all I want. THREE!

Thank you so much.

Sigh...

If only I had no morals. But, since burning in Hell isn't worth $23.97, I feel pretty good about it.

Of course, burning in Hell isn't worth any amount of money.

I'll keep you updated on what happens...This could get fun...