Sunday, November 22, 2009

Keyhole Perspective

I really wish that I had the right perspective all the time. As it is, I tend to only see things properly 7 percent of the time.

For example...

After consuming my spicy milk, Lily's little stomach couldn't handle the stuff, and she threw up what looked like oatmeal all over her head. Yes, her entire head AND face (and me...). It was astounding, actually. As she blinked one sliver of an eye at me in shock, my heart didn't fill with compassion for my tiny daughter. I got cranky, and turned over my poor little mess of a Lily to Jeremy, who patiently and lovingly gave her a bath. In retrospect, I wish I had taken a picture, hugged her, and then cleaned her up. My first thoughts were of how this little person had just wasted a whole lot of milk, and it was so her fault that she managed to turn into Mount St. Helen. I forget that 99.9999999 percent of the time Lily is a complete angel who makes my heart squishy and I can't help but kiss her a million times.

And then there is Jeremy...Every night since I had Lily, Jeremy wants to stay up and watch something...anything...and I feel obligated to sit with him because I can't stand his puppy dog face when I don't. So, we have stayed up 'til midnight almost every night, and since I have to wake up every couple of hours to nurse Lily, I end up crashing after a couple of days and I can't get out of bed until noon (like today...). I get crabby about it, especially since I know that on Monday (TOMORROW! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHGGGG!!!!), I am swinging this gig all by myself. But, then I realized something...I am so lucky that my husband still loves my company. If I insist that I don't want to watch something, he won't watch it by himself. He will go with me to bed. So, even though it may be physically exhausting at this point in my life at times, the time spent with Jeremy is priceless. Furthermore, when I have crashed, Jeremy has picked up the slack. And he is tired too. Lights on and off all night, crying/wide awake baby, frequent requests to fetch and carry, taking turns trying to get Lily to sleep...I have an awesome husband. And I feel lucky that he still smacks my rear (Hey, it's cute!), letting me know he cares.

Hindsight is 20/20 they say. But I would hope that in looking back, you can change how you look at things around you. You miss so much of the good when you are looking at life through a keyhole.


Rebecca said...

it's good that you are figuring this out now and not when things get rough... :)

Family is so important and we need to treat them with kindness and respect and love them unconditionally. We need to learn those things before someone dear to us is taken away. :)

Be happy with your family.

Les said...

I find that hind sight is 20/20, and it is always nice to look back and see what was missed and learn from it. I also find however that if I focus too long looking back I miss the beautiful and sometimes trying things that are happening in the present. Once again it is trying to find balance. I hope today goes well.

Katscratchme said...

I just sent this quote to my Visiting Teach-ee's today.

President Thomas S. Monson recently counseled: "Often we assume that [the people around us] must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. ... We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us."

Tina said...

Enjoy every minute with your family, no matter what the clock says on your wall. You'll never get those precious moments back, but listen to your body too. Go to bed and get some rest. That's cute that Jeremy wants you around like he does.

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