Hot in Topeka

You don't know what heaven is until you try fresh (FRESH!) salsa. I can't stand commercial salsa anymore. N-A-S-T-Y.

We made some a few weeks ago and Jeremy and I went crazy for a couple of days on it. Yesterday I got the craving again. What could be better than fresh onion, cilantro, tomatoes, tomatillos, garlic, Anaheim peppers, and jalapeno?? Ahhh....

Unfortunately for me, I forgot that my milk is directly connected to what I eat. Lily kindly reminded me last night by throwing up all over the place. "Oh yeah..."

Lily scowled at me.

"Ya know," she cranked. "I picked Utah for a reason. I was supposed to get funeral potatoes and jello salad. What's with this jalapeno crap??"

"I'm sorry," I said contritely. "I forgot..."

"Yeah, and what about all the red pepper in the Chinese food you made yesterday? For heaven's sake, you were born in the Midwest! Get with the program, lady!"

Along with upsetting my newborn, another nasty consequence of fresh salsa made itself manifest last night.

I love taking hot showers. I mean HOT showers. As in, so-hot-that-your-skin-turns-red-and-it-hurts-but-feels-so-good hot shower. As my skin slowly fell away from my bones, I noticed something odd...my hands were burning, and it wasn't from the water. It started out slow and then spread up my fingers. And then it was BURNING!!! Like I had put my hands over a fire and left them there for a long, long time.

Uh oh...

I figured it was the jalapeno, so I looked up cures for my problem, which is known as Jalapeno Burn (hence the burning). What they said wasn't encouraging. They suggested things like soaking in lemon juice, or milk, and then rubbing vegetable oil on the affected area. Then some joker said to use 409, but I wonder if that is akin to drinking water from the other side of the cup to rid yourself of hiccups, ie. a "cure" that mostly is intended to entertain those watching. Some people have no compassion for those who suffer... Despite the plethora of cures, most sites said that you will probably just have to wait it out once the jalapeno oils soak in. I was out of luck. Why is it that the oils from a jalapeno don't manifest until 6 hours later? Seems kinda sneaky.

So, I learned my lesson yesterday about jalapenos (and also about onions...don't EVER begin chopping an onion and then touch your eye...eeya...). Gloves, my friends. Gloves.

P.S. If anybody wants the salsa recipe, let me know! Yum...