Sunday, September 20, 2009

Immune

Before I begin, I would like to say that I truly, deeply, totally love my husband. That being said...

When I was a kid, we went on all sorts of road trips. We went up and down California (and commenced upon Milt, if only in spirit...hehehe! In case you didn't get that, it was a reference to the Donner Party, and Milt was one of the popsicles buried underneath the cabin. ANYWAY...), Idaho (YOUdaho!), Mexico ("What kind of king lives next to the rail road tracks??!!") and Utah. At least, those are the places I remember. On one of our trips up to Utah, we went to visit Jenny at her house in Salt Lake City. Now, rooming with that many people yields special problems. Namely, sleeping in the same room with my Dad.
A number of people on this trip ended up throwing things, kicking the floor, and yelling "SHUT UP!" which only resulted in making Mom mad. She, in turn, placed a gentle hand on Dad's shoulder and he silently rolled over and peace descended on the neighborhood. Albeit a short peace. But, hey, at 2 AM everything is annoying.

Now, I got married (SURPRISE!) and suddenly had to adapt to sleeping next to another body. It took some time, but Jeremy mostly has adapted to my porcupine tendencies. The times I actually do snuggle, he holds on with a death grip when I try to pull away. But this blog isn't about snuggling. I already did a blog about that.

Jeremy and Dad have something in common. But I won't say it aloud, because that is like saying something embarrassing in front of a lot of people, and that's not nice.

In the beginning, I would do the Mom thing, and gently tip Jeremy over and I could get back to sleep. Over time, the gentle push turned into several not-so-gentle pushes, and then mutated into multiple violent shakes. Those stopped working, so I tried a gentle leg push, which morphed into an abrupt kick, and at that point when it didn't work I figured the best thing to do was to just leave. And that wakes him up. Every time.

He is immune to night violence.

On top of that, Jeremy sleep talks when I attempt to get him to stop chipper-shredding logs.
"What...?"
"Roll over..."
"...Why...?"
"SNARRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"
"I love you so much..."
"Just roll over..."
"I just want to snuggle."
"JEREMY, I can't sleep!"
Wounded, "Okay..."

The next day:

"Why am I so tired??"
"Probably because I was kicking you all night."
"Oh, that makes sense..."
"You don't remember? You were talking to me."
"Nope."

It has only gotten worse since I have pregnant insomnia. But, I figure it is just helping me get ready to be up every 2 hours. And babies are cuter than adults, so that will help. Maybe we should try those nose strip thingies and see if they work...?

P.S. Since writing the above, apparently the Fates decided I was too cocky, and had Jeremy keep me awake this morning at 4 AM. Between his snuggling and coughing, I had to move to the couch, where the Mickey Mouse song kept playing through my head...I suppose I deserved it.

5 comments:

Katscratchme said...

I was fortunate enough to find a spouse who is a quiet sleeper... my sympathies for your loss.. (sleep)

shydandelion said...

Well, the pros outweigh the cons. But the pros aren't nearly as funny! :)

Rebecca said...

well, mine owns the saw mill

Zaphod said...

"It's a snarr world after all. It's a snarr world after all. It's a snarr wor.... ouch! What did I do?"

Melanie Ann Millett said...

I have been through the exact same thing with my husband. I bought him nose strips, and even got him to buy this nose spray stuff.

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