Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Dr. Teeth

I haven't been to the dentist for four years. Yeah.

Two babies and three pregnancies later...

With all a mother goes through, you would think her body would compensate for all that calcium loss.

Anywho, extensive work needed to be done. Although, my dentist seemed to be arbitrarily picking teeth to work on.

"Let's see...that one has a cavity...and that one...and oh, that one too, I guess...and that one needs a crown...and that one...and OH! You have a retainer! Do you want that out? Okay..." If he could have, I bet he would have suggested I have my tongue resurfaced and my teeth sandblasted. And as he gently tapped my teeth, I am sure he kept hearing the CHA-CHING of the cash register.

Jeremy fared better. Only ONE problem, and he already knew about it. He looked rather smug after his check-up. *snort*

Well, today I went in to have some of the inexpensive work done (I am sorry, but $700 to have two crowns put on? No, thank you. I will wait until those teeth fall out.).

I brought a book. Dentists' offices, like any other doctors' offices, are infamous for their staff taking their sweet time by the water cooler. I sat down, heaved a sigh, opened my book, and then the dental hygienist ran out and dragged me into a chair. No worries... I sat back, cracked open my book, and as the DH strapped the paper towel with clippies around my neck, I began to string the letters on the page into words. Ahh... The dentist came in right then, ripped open my mouth, and in about 30 seconds was done. Whoa.
I was then whisked out to the front desk, where I was informed that I, on top of the portion I already had to pay, had to pay a $50 deductible.

"WHAT???!" I screamed, grabbing the receptionist by the lapels.

"Don't hurt me..."she cowered.


Stupid insurance. I hate it when they randomly apply your deductible.

"Fine! But I am taking the entire goodie box."

I don't know what I am going to do with 50 cardboard airplanes, but I deserved them, dang it!

I then went home and consoled myself with a pan of brownies. Hey, I might as well make my dentist work for his money, right?


Rebecca said...

don't feel bad... I have had three teeth yanked out of my head and will have at least one implant... If I opt to have the other implant I will have to have bone grafting done (a long painful process)...

Zaphod said...

No one remembers Gabby Hayes, but I do. He looked a lot like you until he let his teeth go and then... whoa Mama!!!! He always played the toothless old timer with Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. "Jumpin' Jehosophat!"

Tara said...

That's no fun :( I'm sorry

Katscratchme said...

I was extra special surprised at my last dentist visit. I didn't even have one cavity. I have come to expect at least a half dozen every time I go, so I gloated for at least 2 weeks. :)

Trillium said...

dentist shmentist: not my favorite people!

amy said...

Deductibles are the bane of my existence.

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