Monday, March 2, 2009

Twisted Tales and Emus

We had one of our infamous walks yesterday where Jeremy managed to entertain and make me laugh the whole time. Come closer and I will tell you about it...
There is this house, on one of our routes, that has recently had a face lift. Unfortunately, it wasn't a very good one, and if that was my face, I would sue. The stucco is a gingerbread hue and it has these bandaid looking decals on the corners. Hideous.

Anyway, that got Jeremy and me onto "The Gingerbread man."
When you look at a gingerbread man, he doesn't really look like a man. He is an it, really. And frankly, I am really glad, because I think I would have some serious problems eating anatomically correct cookies.
So, I thought, the story needs to be updated to our modern, politically correct times, and the gingerbread "man" would have to be the gingerbread "it" (or person of gingerbread, but that doesn't roll the same way off the tongue.).

The gingerbread it

Once upon a time, there was an age challenged couple, who wanted some more responsibility in their retired and mundane lives, and decided to make a gingerbread child. They made some dough with whole-wheat flour, calorie-free sugar, fat-free butter, and added some tofu and soy just for texture. They put their gingerbread child in the oven, which is wrong since that kind of heat can really hurt someone, especially children (but that is probably why they didn't have any children in the first place, and had to fabricate one). They baked their gingerbread child (while their neighbor called child protective services), and waited eagerly. The timer rang out, and they pulled their gingerbread child out of the oven. It quickly jumped up, and sang:
"Run run as fast as you get! You can't catch me! I'm the gingerbread it!"

The gingerbread it ran out the door, and before the age challenged couple could get their walkers ready, the gingerbread it ran straight into the arms of two very nice social workers, and the gingerbread it was placed into a loving and caring family with 2.5 children and a dog, and was given an androgynous name, like Erin or Gene.

The End

Hehehehe...

And for your further entertainment....



Is it EMO? Or is it EMU? They look the same to me...You decide...




3 comments:

Rebecca said...

that was funny.

I think EMU and EMO are the same. two legs and a fuzzy head.

nonsu: is it nonsu or nonsence

shydandelion said...

Don't forget how the skinny jeans look like Emu legs...and the shaggy hair...eeya

Katscratchme said...

Pop in some orangy-red contact lenses and watch me go EMO!

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