The best shoes in the world!

Years ago, when I was in my dress-like-people-I-admire phase, I took note of a pair of shoes Melissa had. They were Chacos: the chosen shoe of hikers and earthy people across the world. They looked awesome, and Missy said they were comfortable, and ever since I have wanted to get a pair.
Because we have been in school F O R E V E R, we have been too poor to buy anything, and now that Jeremy has a full time job, I once again began my search for the Chacos for me!
Chacos are very expensive. I usually don't pay more than twenty bucks for a pair of shoes, and even then I feel REALLY bad about it.
So, I began my internet search, and I was prepared to pay over $100 for a pair of indestructible sandals.
I waded through website after website, and, unsurprisingly, I found that they sell them on Amazon. I should have just looked there in the first place...silly me!
I found a pair of sandals I liked, and they were half off! Yay!
I waited and waited, and finally they came.
I pulled them from the box...
and I put them on...
adjusted the straps...
wore them for 10 minutes...
and took them off...
because
they
HURT LIKE CRAZY!
I put them aside, and looked at them admiringly from across the room every couple of minutes...
The next day I decided to go on a walk with them (Seriously, it's like my brain took a vacation a few months back and has decided to stay away).
I went three miles.
IT
WAS
AWFUL
I don't think it is normal to have bloody feet after going on a walk, no matter how awesomely cool your shoes are.
I waited a couple of days, put bandaids on the ouchies on my feet, and went on another walk, and I bled through the bandaids.
Maybe I got a fake Chacos...Phacos.
Sigh...