Solid

Have you ever heard that remark that goes something like when you get older you get set in your ways?
It's true!
Recently, I have felt my soul solidifying.
I think before I was soaking up life experiences, weighing and measuring, and now I have finally started making conclusions ( I hope this doesn't mean I am on the downward spiral... DUHN DUHN DUHN...). It's actually nice. Before, I would change myself with every person I met, attempting to be who they wanted me to be, and afterwards feel like I had been pretending. At some point, everything became clear and solid. I don't know why, but it is very liberating just the same. It's like I stopped being afraid, and started accepting myself as me (not to say that there isn't MAJOR room for improvement). I used to be worried if I was pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, spiritual enough (that one still needs work), enough enough. Those things, though, weren't what I thought of myself, but what I thought others thought of me.
Do I really care now? No, not really.
And should I? No.
Am I okay with that? Absolutely!
I was taught to eat all the food on my plate. I think that is wise. But does that mean I have to eat those 8 nasty cherry tomatoes? No. And I won't. And that doesn't make me a bad person.
I don't know when all this happened, but I am glad of it now. It makes life a lot easier.
I have to say that it is strength that has come undoubtedly from God. It must be difficult to watch His children "tossed to and fro" as I have been. While I may have some more tossing in the future, I hope that I will remain solid.

Comments

Amy said…
Ditto...and with the being set in my ways, I find I'm much more crotchety and that I don't care that I'm crotchety.

Oh that there were a pill to take away the disdain.
Trillium said…
"Comfortable in your own skin."

Sometimes I am, sometimes not. One of my first blogs was about accepting myself--the "shrinking violet"--and not feeling like I have to be a rose like some people I know who want me to be like them.

The rose people don't understand me and still today are trying to make me feel guilty.
Anonymous said…
Sounds like the rose has a personal problem. "Issues" you know...
Rebecca's Oasis said…
I totally agree with you! I remember when I stopped being afraid. I even stated in a Relief Society lesson that the strength I had came from Heavenly Father. That type of strength comes from obedience. :)

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