Solid
Have you ever heard that remark that goes something like when you get older you get set in your ways?
It's true!
Recently, I have felt my soul solidifying.
I think before I was soaking up life experiences, weighing and measuring, and now I have finally started making conclusions ( I hope this doesn't mean I am on the downward spiral... DUHN DUHN DUHN...). It's actually nice. Before, I would change myself with every person I met, attempting to be who they wanted me to be, and afterwards feel like I had been pretending. At some point, everything became clear and solid. I don't know why, but it is very liberating just the same. It's like I stopped being afraid, and started accepting myself as me (not to say that there isn't MAJOR room for improvement). I used to be worried if I was pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, spiritual enough (that one still needs work), enough enough. Those things, though, weren't what I thought of myself, but what I thought others thought of me.
Do I really care now? No, not really.
And should I? No.
Am I okay with that? Absolutely!
I was taught to eat all the food on my plate. I think that is wise. But does that mean I have to eat those 8 nasty cherry tomatoes? No. And I won't. And that doesn't make me a bad person.
I don't know when all this happened, but I am glad of it now. It makes life a lot easier.
I have to say that it is strength that has come undoubtedly from God. It must be difficult to watch His children "tossed to and fro" as I have been. While I may have some more tossing in the future, I hope that I will remain solid.
It's true!
Recently, I have felt my soul solidifying.
I think before I was soaking up life experiences, weighing and measuring, and now I have finally started making conclusions ( I hope this doesn't mean I am on the downward spiral... DUHN DUHN DUHN...). It's actually nice. Before, I would change myself with every person I met, attempting to be who they wanted me to be, and afterwards feel like I had been pretending. At some point, everything became clear and solid. I don't know why, but it is very liberating just the same. It's like I stopped being afraid, and started accepting myself as me (not to say that there isn't MAJOR room for improvement). I used to be worried if I was pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, spiritual enough (that one still needs work), enough enough. Those things, though, weren't what I thought of myself, but what I thought others thought of me.
Do I really care now? No, not really.
And should I? No.
Am I okay with that? Absolutely!
I was taught to eat all the food on my plate. I think that is wise. But does that mean I have to eat those 8 nasty cherry tomatoes? No. And I won't. And that doesn't make me a bad person.
I don't know when all this happened, but I am glad of it now. It makes life a lot easier.
I have to say that it is strength that has come undoubtedly from God. It must be difficult to watch His children "tossed to and fro" as I have been. While I may have some more tossing in the future, I hope that I will remain solid.
Comments
Oh that there were a pill to take away the disdain.
Sometimes I am, sometimes not. One of my first blogs was about accepting myself--the "shrinking violet"--and not feeling like I have to be a rose like some people I know who want me to be like them.
The rose people don't understand me and still today are trying to make me feel guilty.