What's in a name?

My name being what it is, I have had my struggles through the years trying to find the best way to tell people in a nice, friendly way, that they are totally saying my name wrong. I came to the conclusion that I should just let people call me what they want, and I will silently condemn them for eternity. I have to say, that when people call me "DAR-a" I inwardly cringe and I shudder a little. I really don't blame anyone...I mean, my name is kinda hard. Someone told me once that "DARE-A" didn't sound fancy enough, and wanted to call me "DAR-a" because it sounded better. I can't say I agree.

That is why I had so much satisfaction with Eva's name. No, no, it isn't "EEE-Va," it's "AAA-Va." "Then why do you spell it E-V-A?" "It's the Latin pronunciation, you cretin!" I yell, slapping their faces. Plus, Eva means something different than Ava. If Eva had come out with a beak, then maybe I would have spelled it Ava.

I have had fantasies about making up names for others, and none of them stuck. I have a friend, Christina, who has patiently put up with me calling her Rista. I wanted my nickname for her to be special you see. But you have to say it right: "Rrrrrrista! Ay ay ay!"

As I was washing dishes today for the 23rd time, I decided if Jeremy ever became wealthy enough for us to have servants, I would rename them all after Pepperidge Farm cookies. "Sauselito, please bring in the brunch," or "Chessmen, please open the door," and perhaps, "Milano, please clean up that pile of doggie doodle." I, of course, would demand that they all call me Miss Pepper. I just like how it sounds.