Monday, December 1, 2008


Before I had Eva, I was really worried about Joshua actually liking her, and after I had her, I was pleasantly surprised that he seemed to actually like the little intruder, and would often drag her around by the arm when I wasn't looking just so they could be in the same room together. This ideal relationship promptly ended when Eva became mobile and started playing with his stuff.
Of course, being the protective little mommy, I would side with Eva (since she was smaller) until I realized that she would scream just to get him in trouble, and then get all the toys to herself while he was in time out. So I decided that they should just duke things out by themselves, and both of them have kept each other in line (like after Joshua had been tormenting Eva for weeks on end, she leaned over while they were in the stroller one day and bit him really hard....).
Joshua and Eva seem to balance each other out. Perhaps it's the extreme boy on one end, and the extreme girl on the other that makes it work.

I bring this up because Eva has never had to learn to share with a girl (except me, and since I am bigger, I always win.). Eva's little cousin Audrey came for a visit, and when they were reintroduced they looked each other over, sizing each other up: "I could totally take you." "Oh yeah?? Well, my mom can beat up your mom!" "WhatEVER!" and so on. Now, as a rule (unspoken of course) mommies and daddies should side with their own child in these circumstances, and makes sure nobody receives permanent damage.

Jeremy, being the giving sort, likes to play fair and the following episode caused no end of anxiety for my little girl.
As I said, we came over to Mom and Dad's so cousins could get reacquainted, and Eva, as always, had a little something to keep her going, and in this instance, a triscut. Audrey, being the hungry sort, vocalized her desire for a small smackeral, and Jeremy obligingly took Eva's cracker, broke it in half, and gave half to Audrey. Eva promptly laid down on the floor and started to cry.

You see in her mind it was that Daddy confiscated her cracker, broke it, and gave it away!!! The HORROR! It has always been Joshua sharing what he had with Eva, not the other way around. Some where between our house and Grammy and Papa's house something went terribly wrong.

Luckily, being one-year-old, her memory of the event vanished just as soon as it was created, and everything went back to being happy again (except, after that, any food that was given to her, she would stick it all in her mouth and wouldn't spit it out even if she couldn't chew it. I guess that is one way to not have to share.).

I guess the concept that everything belongs to Heavenly Father is too big a concept for my little girl, and she will have to learn little by little like the rest of us (although, I have a very difficult time sharing popcorn. I don't know why. I don't even really like it.).

1 comment:

Trillium said...

Stephen Covey (in his famous "The Seven Habits" book) has a sharing annecdote of his own that took place at one of his children's birthday parties. Stephen "forced" the birthday boy to "share" one of his new presents with a party attender. Of course the little boy didn't want to "share" his new toy. Lots of trauma & unpleasantness all around!

Covey later acknowledged that the one out of line in this sad little scenario had been himself....

Parents sometimes try too hard .....

Live and learn. :)

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