NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE!






I just had a near death experience...I didn't like it.



A few weeks ago, I took my kiddies to the library to check out some new books, and brought home a nice big stack of brain fodder. I was really paranoid about them, though, since Eva has a tendancy to destroy anything made of paper. She one of those people who views books as noise-makers, food, and possibly, on a cold day, fuel.


Things went well for a while, and then, of course, I heard the tell-tale rip of an innocent book being murdered. As I rushed to Eva and Joshua's room, I hoped and prayed it wasn't a library book. It was.



Eva, who was looking rather pleased with herself, held the book up, and it's new, and very surprised, pieces. I quickly scooped up the mutilated picture book and told Eva how naughty she was. I quickly left the room with the critically wounded and weeping book, and Eva consoled herself by eating a piece of the book I had accidentally left behind.
A few days passed, and I decided to tape the poor thing. That is when I discovered that Eva had ingested a piece, and that the book wasn't quite complete. My taping job was...well...what is the best you can really do with scotch tape?
I crossed my fingers, and returned the books, hoping the circulation clerks wouldn't notice the mummy job on the book.


A few days passed....



I had forgotten about it...



Until, I received a phone call....



*SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!*



The caller left a message on my phone that went something like this:


"Hi, Mrs. Card, this is the Orem Public Library calling."



OH NO!!



"I was calling to see if the next time you come in, you could bring in a verification of your address, so we can update your information..."


Wheww...heart is racing...



"And there is a book you brought back..."


OH NO!



"That is missing it's barcode."


*Gasp gasp*



"They cost a dollar, so if you could, when you bring in your address verification, pay for the new barcode, we could take it off of the damaged rack, and put it back in circulation. We would really appreciate it!"



The guilt I feel is immense...I feel like I should confess my daughter's literacide, and my trying to cover it up! Sigh....What would you do???

Comments

Davola said…
$20.00 or eternal damnation. It seems pretty clear to me.
Zaphod said…
Pay the money and run before they find out that the binding looks like it went through a shredder.

bagrets: Sort of like regrets, only bigger.
Jen said…
I probably would have told them the book was lost and pay for the replacement rather than go through the humiliation of explaining that I don't feed my children and therefore they eat library books instead. :)
Trillium said…
I am sure this happens ALL THE TIME at the public library--kids eating books--and that they hardly blink an eye at a chewed book (as long as the barcode still works). :D
Amy said…
Totally would've done the same thing.

And hey, I'm sure the library employees play "rock/paper/scissors" to see who gets to make the you-need-to-pay-for-the-damaged-book-you-brought-back phone calls.
DebbieLou said…
Perhaps if you start feeding Eva some alphabet soup, her daily needs for eating books will be taken care of! :) I concur with Trillium though, I'm sure they see this type of thing all the time.

Popular Posts