Thursday, October 23, 2008

Vacation...

So, Mom and Dad are on a cruise. A CRUISE. Sigh... A CRUISE I TELL YOU! Four days of bliss on the open sea! I had thoughts of Dad hanging over the side of their boat sharing his muy expensivo dinner with the fishies, and Jenny encouragingly said that they have complementary drugs for that kind of thing. Apparently cruise liners also ferry drugs. Who knew? "This is Captain Valentine speaking. We are making a short cargo stop. Please remain in your cabins while the 'shipment' is delivered. To ensure this policy, we will be locking all of your cabins...from the outside..."

I had the opportunity to go to Hawaii once. Mom told me if I eloped with Jeremy, she would take us to Hawaii, but we would have to share a room with her, Dad, and Grandma. I politely declined, and kept our wedding on schedule, including secluded honeymoon in the Narrows. (By the way, if you are ever hiking the Narrows, make sure to check the tide pools for worms before you step in them...eeeya...)

I went to Tijuana with my family when I was 9 or so, and that was a very educational experience. I learned that you can get cheap junk SUPER cheap if you pit merchants against each other, shoes can be made from worn out tires, and tacos in Mexico aren't really tacos. They are fiery mounds of death. Imagine my shock and surprise after digging into one of those when my only experience with authentic Mexican food was Taco Bell...

Through the years, Mom and Dad dragged us to every landmark up and down the Californian coast and through parts of Utah (hooray for Donner Pass and the Golden Spike!). I am afraid I didn't really appreciate the experiences. Of course, riding backward in our blue station wagon for hours on end lessened the value of such trips. Especially since the back window didn't roll up all the way, letting gallons of rain water into the car. Let me tell YOU that moldy station wagon upholstery is extremely unpleasant. And that smell NEVER goes away. EVER. Ick...my memory is pulling up the scent....eeeewwwww....

Through all these experiences, one stays fondly in my memory. Mom, Dad, Melissa, Emily and I were driving to see the Chama Train in New Mexico. Missy is one of the funnest people in the world! She got us to do things that nobody could get us to do (and we subsequently got into trouble, albeit we didn't feel bad about it because it was so funny...Like the time Mom and Dad had one of their semi-centennial fights and Missy thought it would help if we threw a tangled mess of roller skates and hangers down the stairs. When that failed to capture the attention of our squabbling parents, Missy decided that Emily needed to be the sacrificial lamb that went downstairs and put a picture of Jesus in their room. Emily crept down the stairs and quietly pushed the picture of Jesus through their bedroom door and Mom shouted "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Emily, startled I am sure, and not wanting to be eaten, replied "I don't want it anymore..." "WELL I DON'T WANT IT EITHER!" This whole experience provided then and since hysterical laughter on the retelling of it...it still makes me laugh...LOL...And, I believe, that night the "whip-woman" was brought into existence...LOL! Oh well..another story for another time...LOL..Anyway, back to the story. ). As we were driving down the road, Missy decided it would be really funny if she stopped swallowing. So she sat there not swallowing, and by and by, with a completely straight face, she started drooling and making grunting noises at me and Emily. We all broke down into hysterics, and Mom and Dad, I am sure, were wondering what the HECK was going on. On that same trip, amidst all the drooling that was going on, we all decided to make up a song, and I have remembered it all these years later (wow...that was 15 years ago...). It went something like this:
There is a cow on the farm next to mine.
They have sheep! But not pigs...
They also have evergreen, cypress and pine.
They have grapes(?), but not figs...

That is where the song ended. I don't know why it was so random (perhaps someone who was there could shed some light?) but it has stuck with me.

Family vacation...Mom and Dad so deserve that cruise what with all of us crazy kids. I think the government should provide all parents of 7 children a complementary cruise, provided the parents take their children on Education Road Trips. We could call the ERT bill (Which coincidentally sounds like the sounds Mom and Dad made while in the throws of child-rearing). Yah! Let's lobby it in congress.

7 comments:

Davola said...

Very entertaining, I wish I had a video recording of it.

Jen said...

I think I need a vacation. I don't have 7 children. . . only 4 . . . do you think the government would pay for half?

Chris said...

Dude, I talked about goung on a cruise with the family! What the heck! Where did they go?

DebbieLou said...

They went to La, La Land of course! Didn't you know? (Going insane just got too boring after seing it all of those times.) LOL

Amy said...

Taco Bell will always trump all other Mexican food (authentic, Americanized, inedible, or otherwise) to me.

shydandelion said...

They went somewhere or other...I think they went to Mexico, or something. They flew to California, and boarded there. Hmmm....

Zaphod said...

We did the Bajumbug Carnival cruise, and I did not urp once, thank you very much.

ferangue: the stuff that they put on every dessert.

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