Paul Nolan the Old 'Un

Told in the fashion of Dr. Seuss, and based on his poem "Yertle the Turtle." All seeming plagarism isn't really plagarism...I changed it just enough...

Paul Nolan the Old 'Un

At the far away cottage

of Star Gazer's Point

Paul Nolan the Old 'Un

Was King of the Joint.

It was a nice little house!

it was clean, it was neat

the cottage was warm

there was plenty to eat.

The Hydelettes had everything

Hydelettes might need

and they were all happy

Quite happy indeed.

They WERE until Paul Nolan

the King of them all

Decided his film collection

Was too small.

"I'm RULER!" said Paul Nolan.

"Of the movies I see!

But I don't see enough

that's the trouble with me.

If I could have more, how much greater I'd be!

What a king! I'd be ruler of all that I see!"

So, Paul Nolan, the Old 'Un lifted his hand

and Paul Nolan, the Old 'Un gave a command.

He ordered nine movies to be sent to his pad

and watching these movies made him quite glad.

And all through that day, he sat there up high

Saying over and over, "A great king am I!"
Until round about two he heard a great sigh.

"What's that???" Snerked the King

and he looked down the stack

and he saw at the bottom his wifey,

a lady named Pat,

Just standing next to the pile. And this cute little woman

Looked and she said, "Beg your pardon, King Nolan.

You're a pain in my neck, and my shoulders and knees

How long must you collect these, your majesty please?"

"SILENCE!" King Paul Nolan snapped back.

"I'm king and your only a lady named Pat.

You stay and just watch me while I sit and drool.

I am king of the movies! I am king of this stool!

I am king of this house, and your brush, and the cat!
But that isn't all! I'll do better than that!

My pile shall be higher!"

His royal voice thundered.

"Come bring me more movies

I need 'bout two hundred."

"Movies! More movies!"

He bellowed and brayed

and all of the Hydelettes

were sorely afraid.

But they listened, poor souls,

they came and obeyed.

THEN Paul Nolan, the Old 'Un's pile perched up so high

He could see eighty movies from his throne in the sky!

"HOORAY!" shouted Nolan. "I'm king of these DVDs!

I'm king of this house, and the cat, and the trees!

I'm king of the credit cards, king of the nile!

Ah me, what a sight! What a marvelous pile!
I'm Paul Nolan, the Old 'Un! Oh, wonderful me!

For I am the ruler of the movies I see!"

And again, from below, next to the great heavy stack

Came a groan from that cute little lady named Pat.

"Your Majesty, please... I don't like to complain

but down here below, we are feeling the strain

I know, up on top you are seeing great sights

but down in the basement, we too should have rights!

We Hydelettes can't stand it!" Her foot gave a tap.

"Besides we need food! We are starving!" growled Pat.

"You hush up, cute lady!" Howled the mighty Paul Nolan

You've no right to talk to the world's oldest Old 'Un!

I rule from my couch! Over land! Over sea!

There's nothing, no NOTHING that's older than me!"

But, while he was shouting, he noticed that he

Didn't have all the movies he thought there should be.

"What's THIS?" snorted Paul Nolan. "Say, why is this so?
How DARE we not have more movies for me to show?
I shall not allow it! I'll get more movies still!
I'll build my pile higher! I can and I will!

I'll call some more Hydelettes. I'll stack movies to heaven!
I need 'bout six thousand, four hundred and eleven!"

But, as Paul Nolan, the Old 'Un, lifted his hand

and started to order and give the command,

That cute little lady standing next to the stack,

That cute little wifey who's name was just Pat

Decided she'd taken enough. And she HAD!

And that cute little lady got a little bit mad.

And that cute little Pat, did a cute little thing.

She smacked that Paul Nolan

And that smack shook the throne of the king!

And Paul Nolan, the Old 'Un, the king of the DVDs

the king of the cat, and the brush, and the trees

the king of the house and King of all Mules...

Well that was the end of Paul Nolan's rule

for Paul Nolan, the Old 'Un of all Star Gazer's Point

Was demoted to Floor Scrubing Grunt of the Joint.

And today the Old 'Un, that wonderful he,

is King of the crud. That is all he can see.

And the Hydelettes, of course...all the Hydelette's are free

As Hydelettes and, maybe, all creatures should be.