Immunization and Relaxation

Germs are great! I whole-heartedly believe that kids should have a close relationship with dirt: eat it, roll in it, wear it, breathe it, spread it, smear it! Just not in my house....anyway...I was never one of those parents who kept their child from playing on the floor or getting dirty, eating petrified foreign objects off the floor, or under the fridge.



My sister, Melissa, would proudly tell me that her daughter, Eliza, would eat Roley-polies, either alive or dead, off the floor in their house. That was a little too creepy for me, but her kids are all healthy so perhaps there are some kind of antibiotic properties in Roley-polies...?




My kids are usually sick-free (is that a term?). Eva is of a tender disposition, and isn't as hearty as Joshua, but she seems to be spry most of the time. Joshua has only been sick a few times, and so, with confidence I went to the Doctor's office to get Eva immunized. I don't know why they don't have a giant WARNING! sign on the office door. Doctor's office germs are not like nice normal outside germs, and not even closely related to inside under the table germs. They are mutants.



So, thinking, "okay, my kids will be fine crawling on the floor in the doctor's office" I let my children roam and explore the sticky, grimy, germ-infested room. My sub-consciousness was screaming out a warning, but I didn't heed it. I just sat back and watched my children lick every surface in their reach, which was quite a lot, and they, like always, had plenty of time to be thorough.

I never understood why doctors scheduled appointments into their busy lives. I mean, obviously, they don't have time in between games of golf to actually see anybody, so why schedule 40 people for the same time slot if you can't make it? They should just save everyone time and effort and start having check-ups on the golf course. Stand everyone in a line, and then just drive by in a golf cart between holes (and of course, a nurse would be riding in the back throwing drugs and "do it yourself" hypodermic needles to everybody behind her, like so many rose petals. Maybe they would even have music, like "Music Box Dancer" playing as the cart drove by to make it seem more child friendly...) making obvious statements and generic commentary about the health of your child: "Looks healthy, is she pooping?" "Runny nose, must be sick." and the classic "Just keep doing what you're doing." What the HECK is that supposed to mean? And I hate this one: "Do you have any questions?"

Usually I am too intimidated, frazzled and stressed out to ask anything because I have been sitting in that STUPID room for over an hour and just want to GET OUT!!!! Do I have any questions?? YEAH, I DO! Why don'tchya stop asking me stupid questions?!?

Eva was less than happy with her visit (I would too, I mean, that nurse was pretty harsh with those needles... *Stab Stab Stab Stab*

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and Joshua was going crazy. You would think in a pediatric office they would have child locks on all the drawers. Just another way to avoid more time in the office with the patient...Frazzle them, and they bolt. Sigh...

I was laying on the couch watching "Chariots of Fire" a few days later, STILL feeling frazzled, my husband rubbing my feet and legs, exhausted. At one point in the movie, a coach was massaging his runner, and I said to Jeremy "What would that be like, to run around all day, and then get a long massage?" The look my husband gave me would have crumbled a skyscraper.

Needless to say, my kids are now sick. Those mutant germs infiltrated their tiny bodies and ravaged their immune systems! It's very sad. Although I have to say that Eva's snot bubbles are kinda cute.