Human Pillows
On a normal bed, in a normal house, in a normal family, the individuals use pillows to sleep with at night.
In my house, however, 
it's a different story.
it's a different story.My son, Joshua, doesn't sleep with a pillow...
well, he sleeps with them, with them all over him and around him, but he doesn't actually put his head on one.
well, he sleeps with them, with them all over him and around him, but he doesn't actually put his head on one.Eva, being a baby doesn't have pillows in her bed, but she has a plethora of blankets, which she systematically throws over board to go for help 
when she is in her room all alone.
when she is in her room all alone. I LOVE my pillows. If I could have a room full of feather pillows 
I would, and just throw myself on them every night, falling into a blissful sleep surrounded by fluffy heaven...but by myself...and I will tell you why.
I would, and just throw myself on them every night, falling into a blissful sleep surrounded by fluffy heaven...but by myself...and I will tell you why.Jeremy loves his pillow, which, by the way, is usually me.
Every night, after we tuck the children in bed, we get ready for bed, and after saying prayers, we bunker down, and as we roll over ready to descend into the black abyss, my husband smashes me flat. 
I don't know how such a skinny man could be so heavy. It's like gravity pulls harder on him or something.
I don't know how such a skinny man could be so heavy. It's like gravity pulls harder on him or something.As you all know, my husband is very snuggly...
I however...
am
not...
But every night, my lovey-dovey husband attempts to turn me into a pillow. It goes something like this:
"Goodnight!"
"Goodnight!"
"I love you!"
"I love you!"
"I love you!"
*Roll over, facing different directions*
Then suddenly...
*Rolls over again, putting arm around my waist, and somehow pressing down really hard...Sheesh..are his arms full of lead?*
"Jeremy, could you please move your arm? 
I can't breath with it on my stomach..."
"Sorry..."
I can't breath with it on my stomach...""Sorry..."
"That's okay"
*Attempting to sleep again...aaahhh...sleeeep......Giant man legs come crashing down, smashing mine as they land, splintering my shins*
"You know, darling (gritted teeth)*kicking slightly*, I don't like your legs 
on mine..."
on mine..." "Sorry..."
*Too aggravated to sleep...Just waiting for the last straw...Plotting my ensuing revenge...Husband attempts to use me as a full body pillow, smashing my face into pillow and crushing my ribs*
Ka BOOOOOOM!!!!!
Yes, folks. This happens every night without fail. Sigh...You would think Jeremy wouldn't like all the hissing, clawing and biting that goes on...
To all of you out there, who also become your spouses body pillow, you have my condolences. It's not easy being a pillow. We will be holding a group therapy meeting at my house on the 32nd of this month. Please feel free to come and know that we understand.
Comments
My compassionate hubby comes in handy in the winter when my feet are ice cold and he generously lets me warm them up on his legs. Otherwise, I can't sleep if even his little finger is touching my elbow.
I also play some pillow games with Tammy. Usually, right after she turns off the light, I quickly take her pillow and throw it on the floor. So when she gets in bed she says, "HEY! Where is my pillow?" Then a battle ensues. Quite fun actually.
99% of the time, Ben isn't allowed to touch me when I'm trying to fall alseep. About 1% of the time, I cuddle up to him. 99% of that 1% consists of Ben wanting to turn over and go to sleep.
I am also crushed when I try to sleep - but it is different with Victor. He will probably crush me to death in my sleep.
I steal his pillows every night. He doesn't think it's funny. Victor is also too hot.
Jennifer and Andy fight over the same pillow. Mr Squishy is everyone's favorite at their house. Actually I think they were fighting over it last night. I believe Jennifer won.
Security word: "Zhudxig! Don't pinch my nipples! Here is your pillow back!"