SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO...uh..SUCH a Disappointment
Sigh...I have waited an ENTIRE YEAR for Stephanie Meyers' fourth (and final) installment of the Twilight series, and I got it and finished it in approximately 12 hours. TWELVE HOURS...A WHOLE DAY...A whole WASTED day..sorry to all of you out there who have yet to read it. If one of my readers would like my copy, I am more than happy to put mine into a cannon and launch it to you...
I even went to the trouble of re-reading Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse in preparation for receiving the final book, and it was slighly aggravating, because I suddenly realized how thoroughly annoying Bella is, how mellodramatic Edward is, how emotionally vacant and slighly abusive Jacob is, and how the rest of the vampires should know how to behave better since, for heaven's sake, they have been alive for how long? R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D.
After spending double the price for Breaking Dawn so that I would have the book delivered to me on my doorstep encased in a jewel encrusted platinum box with velvet interior, after wading through 750 pages (65% of which were extremely tedious) to conclude in such an anti-climactic way was almost insulting...INSULTING! DO YOU HEAR ME, STEPHANIE! I AM INSULTED! AND WHY THE HECK DID EVERYONE BECOME A CHARACATURE OF THEMSELVES??? IT WAS HORRIBLE. H O R R I B L E. Horrible, horrible, horrible.
Grrr... So, other than those few things, the book was great. Like the parts she was going on and on and on and on and on and on and on, and on. And on..."this is the book that never ends! Yes it goes on and on my friend! you people started reading it not knowing what it was, but you'll continue reading it forever just because this is the.." Okay you get the picture.
I was kind of embarassed telling people that I read this tripe. I would have rather said "Yeah, I spent 12 hours reading the complete works of Shakespeare" or "I spent 12 hours reading the Bible, and all the commentary on it" or even "I spent 12 hours reading ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT PILE OF DRIVEL!"
I am sure Stephanie was just tired, and was trying to tie up loose ends, and COMPLETELY LOST HER MIND! oh well...I mean, it is teen fantasy. I shouldn't expect the author to BETRAY HER READERS by INSULTING THEIR INTELLIGENCE!
Anywho, it's a fluff read. If you have 12 hours, and if there is nothing better to do ie. laundry, brushing the cat, cleaning out the farthest reaches of your nose, then this book is for you! Twelve hours... I have a feeling that I will be held accountable for that time when I die. "Welcome to Heaven..Oh wait, nope, sorry, your 12 hours of wasted time has demoted you to the 10th level of Hades. Here is a pamphlet of the various tortures and thrashings in store for you. Goodbye!" "But wait, wasn't that book punishment enough?" I say, pleading with my eyes. Pete thinks about it for a while. "Well, you have a point..okay, come on in! There is a place of quiet for those who have suffered like you." And I am led to a place filled with those like me, a place where all we get to read is Douglas Adams novels, and Bronte novels, and Austen, and Dickens, and...I was going to add Robert Asprin to that list, but he is on my black list...Another author who lost his stride...
Happy reading!
I even went to the trouble of re-reading Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse in preparation for receiving the final book, and it was slighly aggravating, because I suddenly realized how thoroughly annoying Bella is, how mellodramatic Edward is, how emotionally vacant and slighly abusive Jacob is, and how the rest of the vampires should know how to behave better since, for heaven's sake, they have been alive for how long? R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D.
After spending double the price for Breaking Dawn so that I would have the book delivered to me on my doorstep encased in a jewel encrusted platinum box with velvet interior, after wading through 750 pages (65% of which were extremely tedious) to conclude in such an anti-climactic way was almost insulting...INSULTING! DO YOU HEAR ME, STEPHANIE! I AM INSULTED! AND WHY THE HECK DID EVERYONE BECOME A CHARACATURE OF THEMSELVES??? IT WAS HORRIBLE. H O R R I B L E. Horrible, horrible, horrible.
Grrr... So, other than those few things, the book was great. Like the parts she was going on and on and on and on and on and on and on, and on. And on..."this is the book that never ends! Yes it goes on and on my friend! you people started reading it not knowing what it was, but you'll continue reading it forever just because this is the.." Okay you get the picture.
I was kind of embarassed telling people that I read this tripe. I would have rather said "Yeah, I spent 12 hours reading the complete works of Shakespeare" or "I spent 12 hours reading the Bible, and all the commentary on it" or even "I spent 12 hours reading ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT PILE OF DRIVEL!"
I am sure Stephanie was just tired, and was trying to tie up loose ends, and COMPLETELY LOST HER MIND! oh well...I mean, it is teen fantasy. I shouldn't expect the author to BETRAY HER READERS by INSULTING THEIR INTELLIGENCE!
Anywho, it's a fluff read. If you have 12 hours, and if there is nothing better to do ie. laundry, brushing the cat, cleaning out the farthest reaches of your nose, then this book is for you! Twelve hours... I have a feeling that I will be held accountable for that time when I die. "Welcome to Heaven..Oh wait, nope, sorry, your 12 hours of wasted time has demoted you to the 10th level of Hades. Here is a pamphlet of the various tortures and thrashings in store for you. Goodbye!" "But wait, wasn't that book punishment enough?" I say, pleading with my eyes. Pete thinks about it for a while. "Well, you have a point..okay, come on in! There is a place of quiet for those who have suffered like you." And I am led to a place filled with those like me, a place where all we get to read is Douglas Adams novels, and Bronte novels, and Austen, and Dickens, and...I was going to add Robert Asprin to that list, but he is on my black list...Another author who lost his stride...
Happy reading!
Comments
That makes me sad.
My wife read the first book, and told me a little about it. But even before I received her critic, I already knew how LAME it was going to be. You know, a teenage vampire in love with a non-vampire?? I mean, come on!
It's like this, here I am, a meat eater, going to the store, and finding the best tri-tip, taking it home, and giving it kisses, and whispering sweet nothings to it. "Oh, I love you sweet tri-tip.." *smooch* *smooch* Ok, I really do do that, but that's not the point.