Be Very Very Ware
My son is three and a half and at the stage where he repeats everything he hears. Well, I ammend that. He repeats everything bad he hears. It began when I was driving through the Wal-Mart parking lot and some troglodite pulled in front of me. I said "People in Utah are so RETARDED!" and my son, not skipping a beat, yelled out "RETARDED!" That was the best laugh I have ever had, which was unfortunately cut short by my husband's look of death. As time has gone by, we have had to adjust our vocabulary. S-T-U-P-I-D is no longer allowed in the house, and Joshua reminds us that we need a spank if we accidentally say it, and everyone else who says it, for that matter. Since we edited our speech, I figured that we were in the clear. Nooooooooooooo. I have had to ban Joshua from watching "Robin Hood," "Emperor's New Groove," and all of the "Chronicals of Narnia," along with a myriad of other movies with a G/PG rating I thought were fine. Honestly, what was Disney thinking? They are supposed to raise my children without my having to worry about anything! I should sue them...And the BBC. So, Joshua is confined to watching "Winnie the Pooh" and...hmm...that's about it.
Which brings me to the other thing...Why is it that every boy on the planet turns normal everyday things (ie bread, puzzle pieces, straws) into a gun or a sword, even if he has never seen either? Hence why Joshua only watches Pooh bear. No swords, no guns, just a fat (another word I can't say without spelling) little bear running around and singing. No "Sleeping Beauty," no "Bednobs and Broomsticks," no "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe." Joshua turned his "blue hug" (An afghan crocheted by my sister, Rebecca, which he has subsequently unraveled) into a cape, his baseball pillow into a shield and his beanie baby dinosaur into a sword. I have had to break up many a fight between Eva and Joshua since he insists on using her for sparing practice. She was perfect, I suppose, since she would sit there and stare at him with a look of total fascination and adoration...until he whacked her. But now that she is crawling around (yay!) she is a moving target, and he just waits till she is stuck in a corner or in her Exersaucer. Sigh...Sheesh, who would have known I would actually have to protect my baby from an imaginative pre-schooler?
Which brings me to the other thing...Why is it that every boy on the planet turns normal everyday things (ie bread, puzzle pieces, straws) into a gun or a sword, even if he has never seen either? Hence why Joshua only watches Pooh bear. No swords, no guns, just a fat (another word I can't say without spelling) little bear running around and singing. No "Sleeping Beauty," no "Bednobs and Broomsticks," no "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe." Joshua turned his "blue hug" (An afghan crocheted by my sister, Rebecca, which he has subsequently unraveled) into a cape, his baseball pillow into a shield and his beanie baby dinosaur into a sword. I have had to break up many a fight between Eva and Joshua since he insists on using her for sparing practice. She was perfect, I suppose, since she would sit there and stare at him with a look of total fascination and adoration...until he whacked her. But now that she is crawling around (yay!) she is a moving target, and he just waits till she is stuck in a corner or in her Exersaucer. Sigh...Sheesh, who would have known I would actually have to protect my baby from an imaginative pre-schooler?
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