Pismire

When we moved in, our landlord discretely handed us a canister of ant poison, and then rushed away. That should have been our first clue. The second clue would have been the winged ants crawling out of who-knows-where and rubbing their hideous bodies all over my nice bath towels.

Needless to say, we have ants. I don't think they are in my apartment. I think WE are in their colony (actually I think it is a turf war between the wasps and the ants. I don't think it's much of a contest though, since wasps don't seem very bright...But that's just my opinion.).
We were watching TV the other day, and I started pulling out the many bobbie pins in my hair and plopping them on the floor. Jeremy, the romantic, thought I was trying to hold his hand (He kept grabbing for my hand every time I put a hair pin on the floor.). When he finally realized I wasn't being snuggly, and looked at what I was doing, he noticed that the carpet was moving.

"What the...HEY!"

"What?"
"Ants..."

So I ran, screaming, to the cupboard, grabbed the bug spray, ran back into the living room, jumped over the couch and started spraying anything that was moving (I finally stopped spraying Jeremy after he screamed, "MY EYES!").

I couldn't figure out where they were coming from! The vent was clear (I had thoroughly soaked it a few days before) and they weren't coming in through the door or the baseboards. Jeremy moved the couch, and there they were...

At the OTHER vent.

They had a little barbecue set up, and a pool complete with slide. You had your mommy ants, and your daddy ants (playing catch with the little boy ants) and the teenage girl ants were suntanning on tiny beach chairs, while the teenage boy ants were playing chicken in the pool.
"DIE!" I screamed, letting them have it. "FEEL THE POWER OF THIS FULLY OPERATIONAL BATTLE STATION! I MEAN, BUG SPRAY!"

WHOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHH!

"HA! I felt the force...did you?"

As I went to put the poison away, Jeremy said, a little sadly,

"...They are just trying to live...It was as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced..."
Of course, in my mind, I am thinking of those giant nasty red ants in Africa that eat everything in their way.

"It's only a matter of time before they would have carried off Joshua to their nest, Jeremy," I said, shuddering."...they are just biding their time."(By the way, when I was looking up ant pictures for this blog, it made me want to throw up...that's why I didn't post any real ones...)